


A Demon's Best Friend

by ninjehkitteh



Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Monster Falls, Angst, Cervitaur Dipper Pines, Crossdressing, Different Dimensions, Domestic Fluff, Drinking Games, Drunk Confession, Drunk Dipper Pines, Eventual Smut, F/M, Finally, First Kiss, How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, Kind of OC Monster Falls Dipper, M/M, More OCs, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, Pansexual Dipper, Polyamory, Poor Thomas, Sad Bill Cipher, Shapeshifting, Slow Build, Strip Poker, alexander is the mom of the group, fancy clothes, heh heh triangle, hermaphrodite character, i vicariously live through these characters, mabel the life coach, mabel the matchmaker, my beast is a bit different, ovisitaur OC, starts off as a love triangle, trash can writing, who identifies as male
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 08:05:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 22,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10509708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninjehkitteh/pseuds/ninjehkitteh
Summary: Nope it's not diamonds, but a human turned demon.What if Bill Cipher was never defeated and took control of our dimension, without destroying it of course. Six years after he wins, he meets up with an old friend who wants a share of his new power and property.Got the idea in the middle of class.Have no idea what I'm doing, just making it up as I go.Now that I've written more, it's just a trash fic between a human, a demon, and some weird hybrid.*Shrugs* Oh well.Also known as The Misadventures of Dipper and His Demon Boyfriends.





	1. The Aftermath of Weirdmaggedon

**Author's Note:**

> i recently watched gravity falls again and this idea popped in my head
> 
> please note that in this timeline Ford and Stan went to another dimension and won't be a part of the story much if at all
> 
> this is probably gonna suck ass
> 
> welp this is a thing now

It had been six years. Six years since the barrier around Gravity Falls was destroyed and the entire world was plunged into a state of never-ending weirdness. Six years since humanity became slaves to Bill, digging up all the gold the Earth had to offer. The world wasn't transformed into a wasteland, like all the post-apocalypse movies claim. It actually thrived, letting the supernatural creatures and forces of the world come out of hiding and reclaim the world they ruled before the human race got greedy and ambitious. Basically the world was really, _really_ weird. 

Most of the humans lived in camps around the mines they worked in, they were all taken care of extremely well. They had plenty of food, water, shelter, medical care, and plenty of things to keep them from getting bored. A relatively small select group of humans lived with Bill Cipher in the Fear-ymid. These were the residents of Gravity Falls. They were basically servants and house-keepers, there to preserve the immaculate state of floating pyramid. Except for Dipper and Mabel that is.

Since the twins were Bill's "favorite meat-sacks", as he puts it, he gave them pretty important roles. Mabel was basically the chamberlain, head butler, of the Fear-ymid, making sure everyone was doing what they were supposed to do and being where they were supposed to be. She was very good at it and took her job seriously, for once. Dipper took care of any and all disputes between the different groups of supernatural beings. He was, in a sense, Bill's right hand man. (insert Hamilton lyrics here) He gained a lot of confidence over the years and kept his head held high when publicly speaking, whether it be to his fellow humans or the powerful magical entities, or even to Bill himself. Both were well respected in their positions, even if they were only nineteen, and had a lot of prestige among the people and creatures of the world. 

Bill, becoming incredibly powerful and almost all-knowing, cast out his henchminions, seeing no use or place for them in the new world order. Besides they would eventually band together and try to take Bill's kingdom away. 

And that's how we got here. 

It was a normal day, like any other. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming, Cthulhu was walking past the giant floating pyramid. A typical normal day. Until Bill got a visitor. 

He and Dipper were in his throne room, discussing the new treaty between the centaurs and the merfolk. All of a sudden the large, ornate doors that entered into the throne slammed open and a single figure stood in the entranceway. It was human in shape, but completely pitch black, like a shadow brought to life. The only facial features it had were two white eyes made of a glowing light. It walked up to the throne, not stopping to bow like all beings had to, per protocol. He held out a small envelope, getting it from seemingly nowhere. As soon as Bill grabbed it, the creature vanished in a puff of black smoke. 

Dipper, who was still recovering from the shock of the sudden intrusion didn't hear the tear of opening of the envelope but he snapped out of it in time to hear Bill.

"I should have known. He always did have a love of theatrics." 

"Who?" Dipper inquired as he walked up the steps to stand by Bill's side. 

"An old friend of mine, wants me to visit his dimension and tell him of my success no doubt." Dipper knew the dream demon was smirking even if he had no physical mouth. 

"I didn't know you had actual friends." Dipper replied in that smart-alecky tone he developed from years of speaking to the demon. 

"Very funny Pine Tree. I do have friends, just not many."

A small silence enveloped the two. A few moments later Dipper was dismissed by Bill to go back to his duties. 


	2. The Meeting

A few days later Dipper was called back into the throne room. However unlike most days Bill wasn't on his throne and was instead floating in front of the stairs that led to his golden symbol of rule, as if waiting for Dipper so they could leave. It was unheard of for Bill to leave the Fear-ymid without a reason and quite spontaneously. He always announced when he was going to go and torture other dimensions. Never his own, of course, cause that would be far too easy. 

"What's up Dorito, what do you want now?" He stood a few feet in front of the floating cyclops triangle, arms instinctively crossing to show his annoyance at being taken away from his research. He was about to figure out some new decoding methods, damnit. 

The brunette could tell the floating corn chip was smiling, in his own mouthless way. "I've decided to go ahead and visit that old friend of mine and you're coming with me whether you like it or not." Out of nowhere a portal opened up behind Dipper and he was sucked through the swirling mass of blues and greens. 

Dipper found himself lying on his back in the middle of a forest. The shock of being spontaneously teleported dissipated quickly and was replaced with annoyance fueled anger as he sat up. "God damnit Bill! You could've at least warned a guy before you teleport them to. . ."

Dipper couldn't possibly finish his thought. Standing in front of him was a man, not the dream demon he was used to seeing. He was taller than Dipper, easily over six feet with olive skin. He was thin yet strongly built, like a runner. His slightly curly pale blonde hair fell across his face covering his right eye, his left was a bright gold that seemed to glow in the bright daylight. He wore a simple dress shirt with gold triangle-shaped buttons, a pair of black slacks and dress shoes. _Was this Bill?_  

The man smirked. "I know I'm incredibly sexy in this form Pine Tree but staring's a bit rude." _Yep, it was Bill._

Bill held out a hand for the other male to hoist him up from sitting there in the grass. 

"First of all, where even are we? Second, why are you even in a human form?" Dipper asked as he patted the dirt off his ass. 

Bill sighed. "I told Pinesy, we're visiting my old friend, this is his dimension. And to answer your second question, while in this dimension I have to take on a human form, it's one of the rules here." He started walking down a path that led into the forest, Dipper jogging to catch up with Bill's long, quick strides. 

"Seems like an odd rule to have."

Bill smirked. "It's just so other demons, like yours truly, don't scare his subjects."

"So there are humans in this dimension."

"You got it Pine Tree, but they're not exactly like the humans from your dimension."

"How are they different?"

"You'll see."

The walk was short, only about fifteen minutes. Soon they came to a city that looked like it was a strange mixture of the 1800s and the 21st century. Dipper glanced about as they walked through, he couldn't tell what was different about this dimension's people. They looked just like any other human. Oh well, just something else he can research. Soon they came to the town center, in front of them stood a Victorian Era mansion. It was huge, about as big as the Fear-ymid, and surrounded by a black iron fence whose ornate gates were in an opened position. Bill walked in the direction of the front door without a moments hesitation and again Dipper had to jog to catch up. Luckily he was in a pair of sweats. Without knocking Bill threw opened the door and shouted "Hey Feathers, you home?!" Dipper wished he could be surprised at Bill's actions, but it was all part of his brash, 'I don't give a fuck' attitude. _Wait, who's Feathers?_

Out of one of the side doors, a maid entered into the foyer. It was your typical house maid, French maid costume and all. Except it was worn by a man? Well, that was surprising. The servant addressed Bill as Lord Cipher, which given the style of this dimension would make sense, given Bill's high status among other demons, and led both him and Dipper through the mansion to a garden in the back. 

It was beautiful. Flowers of all kinds bloomed everywhere around the pale brick walkways, some Dipper recognized but most were foreign to him, their neon colors exploding all around. The servant continued to lead them through the garden until they came across a balcony that went right over a large river that flowed through the property. The maid addressed the person at the railing of the balcony, it was too quiet to hear even in the silence of the garden. 

The maid strolled off. 

"You called, Feathers." Bill said as he strode to stand behind the stranger. Dipper standing off to the side, figuring if this was Bill's old friend they'd want to catch up. 

"Hello Bill." The person turned. They were way shorter than Bill, even shorter than Dipper. It was difficult to tell if they were a man or a woman. Their voice could've been a normal masculine voice or a slightly deep feminine one. They were pale with a few freckles on their face and arms. Their ebony hair had a fading lavender ombre to it and was cut short and curly. Eyes were an oceanic blue. The feathers in their hair and tight black clothing reminded Dipper of some stripper you'd find in Vegas, back when it wasn't a haven for nymphs. The four-inch, knee high black heels didn't help. 

(Reference, because I'm bad at describing them)

 "Damnit Bill, how many times do I have to ask you to call me Alexander."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bill - six foot three  
> Dipper - five foot eight  
> Alexander - five foot three 
> 
> i thought it would be kinda humorous if their height differences were pretty stark
> 
> also credit for the art goes to rinmarugames.com i just played one of their avatar creators and the design was exactly like how he is in my head


	3. Dipper's Pan and Bill's In Love?!?! dun dun dun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont question the title, i'm in a silly mood today

"Naw, you're Feathers and he's Pine Tree." Bill said, smirk on his lips, pointing behind him towards Dipper, who still hadn't said a word. 

Dipper would have said something witty and sarcastic, but he was too busy staring at Alexander, who was _extremely_ attractive to the brunette. Dipper was comfortable in the fact that he was pansexual and didn't really care what anyone thought about it. In fact, Mabel was the one to help him realize this little fact about himself with her tries at matchmaking. But back to what's currently happening. (that made this sound like an old 80's show, what's happening, oh well) 

"Pine Tree, huh? Better than Feathers to be honest." 

"Uh huh, yeah, great. So, why'd you ask for me? I mean I know I'm great and all, but it was kinda out of the blue." Bill seemed unperturbed by Dipper's awkward silence and staring, although he noticed it, he wanted to see if Alexander would. Which is unlikely. 

"Oh right! I almost forgot about that. Why don't we take a walk and I'll explain it to you."

They started walking down a cobblestone path, a different one than the one Bill and Dipper came from. It was silent for a little while, with only the chirping of birds and the rustling of the breeze going through the bushes and trees. Alexander glanced towards Dipper, who was on his right while Bill was walking on his left, and studied the young man. He didn't expect Bill to bring anyone with him, much less some adorable nerd. "So, what's your name anyway?"

Dipper eyes widened a little, he didn't expect to be addressed. Well he expected it a little, but he was still surprised and caught completely off guard. "Oh. Uh, it's Dipper. Dipper Pines." Thankfully he didn't make himself look like a complete fool, even though he could feel heat rising up in his cheeks. He hoped no one noticed. 

"Dipper." _My name sounds so nice when he says it._ "I like it, it's different." 

"Uh thanks, I l-like yours too. It's a bit proper, but I mean that makes sense since you live in this big, fancy mansion, it looks really nice by the way. Did you design it yourself?" Welp, if he didn't look like an idiot before he sure does now. Him and his stupid rambling. If he was alone he'd face palm himself. (i feel for Dipper, this poor bab, getting all nervous)

But Alexander just chuckled. "Thank you. Although Bill here designed the house, not me. I did add some changes here and there though."

Bill scoffed. "Enough small talk, why did you pull that little stunt to get me here?"

"Calm down, Bill. I just wanted to congratulate you on your world domination. After all, that dimension was one of the harder ones to get control over. I've been keeping an eye on things, and you aren't being the total dick to the humans like I thought you were. I'm also giving up my rule on this little pocket dimension of mine."

"But why? There's no judgement or persecution for who you are here. It's literally your dream world."

"That's exactly it Bill. It's too perfect, becomes a little boring after awhile and the people basically run themselves. Besides, your new world seems fun and crazy. I just wanted to give you a little forewarning before I randomly popped into your dimension. Unlike you."

"You technically should've been expecting him, since you did send an invitation and all. Sure it's been a few days, but you still should've seen him coming." Dipper remarked. 

Alexander stopped in his stride, the clicking of heels on the cobblestone stopping. Now, he was about ten feet away from them. "I hadn't thought about it that way. I must look like a stupid jerk now." He scratched the back of his head. 

"You just forgot, it's fine. To err is human, after all." Bill replied. "Don't worry about it. You forget how to function when you worry." Dipper noticed the actual sincere concern in the taller man's eyes. 

"Sorry-"

"Don't apologize, it's a common mistake, everyone forgets stuff." 

Dipper looked between the two. He could see the emotions swirling in the golden eye. It was a mix of concern, happiness, and longing. _Is Bill in love?_ The fact that he was so excited to go to this dimension to see Alexander made so much more sense. But looking at the shorter male, he could see only friendship, not love. This was quite the interesting development. 

Bill cleared his throat and looked off towards the riverbank. "Well, if you're going to be staying in my dimension, then I guess you'll need a place to stay. The Fear-ymid's got plenty of room, if you're interested."

"Fea-rymid? That sounds just like you, Bill. Is everything triangles with you?"

Bill straightened up at that, proudly putting his fists on his hips and holding his head up high. "You know it!" 

That caused both Dipper and Alexander to bust out laughing, Bill joining in a moment later, realizing how ridiculous the whole situation was. The servants who passed by quirked an eyebrow at them, but quickly walked pass. It took a long moment for the three to compose themselves.

After they calmed down, they continued to walk through the gardens, which were larger than most people would expect, and talked and laughed.  


	4. The Chapter in Which Waddles is A Genius (Apparently)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i still don't know what i'm doing for the most part, but i have a few plans
> 
> i don't live vicariously through my characters, i don't know what you're talking about
> 
> this is my life now

It had been two years since Alexander started living at the Fear-ymid. He fit right in, in the quirky palace of weirdness. He and Mabel hit it off immediately, finding their shared love of fashion and cute stuff. When he passed by Dipper in the halls, the brunette would let his eyes wander over Alexander's more feminine figure. Bill, still in his human form, saw all of this, after all, the Fear-ymid was built by him, and he had eyes everywhere. He did harbor feelings for Alexander in whatever nonexistent heart he had, but he disregarded them as stupid useless human emotions that came with staying in this form. Even though he had felt this love and affection towards Alexander for about 2 and a half centuries now, he was still in denial about them.

Mabel noticed things as she made her rounds of the Fear-ymid. She noticed Dipper's wandering gazes and Bill's loving looks, concerns, and advice, as well as their flirtations towards each other, whether they were joking or not it was still flirting. She noticed Alexander's obliviousness and naivety towards it all. Being the matchmaker she was, she wouldn't stand for this. There had to be something she could do. On one hand she could hook up Alexander with Bill, they had known each other longer and Bill was her boss in a way, but on the other Dipper was her brother, her _twin_ brother, and he hadn't had feelings towards anyone since Wendy. She sat in her room one night, knitting a sweater for her new demonic friend. She was thinking of what to do by talking aloud to herself in the guise that she was speaking to Waddles. There was no fear that Bill was watching, as the rooms lived in by the people were hidden from his sight for the people's own privacy. After all the easiest way to control people was to make them comfortable where they are so they have no desire to leave or rebel. She even made a list of the pros and cons of each pairing, but they were too equal to pick between them. 

 "Oh Waddles, this is so hard. Which pair would be better? Dipper and Alexander? Bill and Alexander? Or even Dipper and Bill? Ugh, there's too many options." She picked up her pig, who seemed the same size as six years ago, and hugged him close to her chest as she laid back on her pink canopy bed. She grabbed at his cheeks and moved them as if he were talking and spoke in a silly deeper toned voice. "But what if all three of them were in a single relationship." She squealed a high pitch fangirl-esque squeal. 

"Waddles, you're a genius!"

The next morning, plan in her head and a sweater box in hand, she headed down to Alexander's wing. Bill deemed it necessary that Alexander have his own wing of the Fear-ymid simply because he was a fellow demon, albeit of a far lower level, but still a demon. The real reason was because of his feelings, but he'd never admit it. In fact, Dipper was given one of the larger rooms and his own personal library. If you asked Bill, he would claim it was solely for Dipper's work. (but ya know, wink wonk)

As she walked through the halls, she waved to all of the servants and greeted them by name. She knew every single one of them, their stories, problems, likes, and dislikes, after all it was part of her job as chamberlain. She knew exactly where Alexander would be (she was his best friend now after all), his workshop. It was a fairly large room, filled with rolls of cloth and fabric, mannequins, various types of plain hats, and work tables and closets. Being a demon Alexander could just snap his fingers and materialize his clothes, but he enjoyed the art of making them himself and after centuries had more clothes than a Burlington Coat Factory. He was really good at making them, too. Mabel was currently wearing an Alexander original sundress in pale pink with pastel floral designs. (Very chic, mush fashion, so avant-gard)

As Mabel expected, Alexander was fussing over some suit with a long tail coat he was making. 

"Hey fashion buddy! Whatcha doing?"

Alexander chuckled at the title he had received from the twin. Even though he hadn't lived there long, he and Mabel hit it off incredibly well. It was like he was the gay male friend trope in her tv drama. Even though he wasn't  _completely_ male and could be considered pansexual. 

"Nothing much. Bill asked me to make him an actual formal suit, so that's what I'm trying to do."

"Cool! Here!" She gave him the small sweater box.

"What's this for?" He took it from her and opened it.

"Nothing special. All of my friends have a Mabel sweater, so I figured you should have one too. Besides you gave me this pretty dress."

 "Thanks Mabes." 

He pulled out the lavender sweater that said 'FASHION!!!' on it in bubbly, black letters. He smiled at it and slipped it on over his black tank top. The head hole was too big, which caused the sweater to slip off one of his shoulders and no matter what he did it always slipped off again. 

"I like it. Thanks again Mabes."

"No problemo amigo. I'm bored, wanna go mess with Dipper with me?" 

Alexander stood there, hand on his cheek, and a look of fake concentration on his face. "I don't know. On one hand, I could be making this suit. And on the other, I could annoy an adorable nerd with some ridiculous Mabel-concocted scheme. Hmmm, I'll go with option number two."

Mabel actually jumped in the air in excitement. She grabbed Alexander's wrist and started dragging him through the halls, heading towards Dipper's library. 

"So, what's your plan?" Alexander asked as he tried not to trip whilst being dragged by the half-foot-taller girl. 

"I'm going to annoy Dipper with my usual silliness." Mabel said proudly as she sped-walked.

"What am I here for, then?"

"Eye candy!"

"Wait, what?"

Mabel stopped and turned to face the shorter man, her hand still holding on to his slim wrist. "You're going to stand there and look pretty while I distract Dipper from whatever he's doing."

"Then there's no point in me coming with." 

"Come on friendo, don't you want to see Dipper all frustrated and mad?"

Alexander thought on it for a moment. "He is rather cute when he's mad."

"See! Now, onwards!"

The two started their trek back up again, ready to make Dipper's day a bit worse, or better in a worse way. 


	5. Alexandipper (It All Starts Here) (i have no good ship names for them)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10/10 one of my most trash chapters  
> *shrugs* oh well

They reached Dipper's library and silently slipped inside. They hid behind one of the numerous bookcases, and could see Dipper perfectly when looking around the corner. The Sign by Ace of Base (Disco Girl was a little too predictable) could be heard playing in the background as Dipper leant over some enormous, ancient looking book and scribbled things down in his own journal. Even from a distance you could tell that he was beyond tired, being in his pajamas while chewing on his shirt collar. His hair was unkept, there were large day circles under his eyes, and he must've not shaven in days, because there was quite a stubbly beard on his chin. (i'd like to think of it as the more unkept version of jacksepticeye's current beard, because i'm youtube trash as well as gravity falls trash) He honestly looked like he could fall asleep at any moment. 

Well, not if Mabel had anything to say about it. 

"Hey brobro! What's shakin'?" 

Dipper sighed and put his head in his hands, not prepared for what was inevitably about to happen. He looked up, ready to tell Mabel he wasn't in the mood for her shenanigans, but caught sight of Alexander, who was standing off to the side, first. He was reading the back of one of Dipper's mystery novels, so he didn't notice Dipper's staring. The sweater he was still wearing was off one of his shoulders, again, and showed off his entire shoulder and the spaghetti strap of his black tank top. He also was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans underneath his grayscale plaid skirt and a pair of combat boots.  _He looked absolutely adorable (Dipper)._

Mabel looked from Dipper to Alexander. Seeing her brother obviously checking the other boy out. It seemed that phase one of her plan was working, the fact that Dipper was tired was only helping her. She was so glad that she made that sweater too big. She had to try really hard to hide the crazed fangirl smile that was trying to creep its way onto her face. She shipped it so hard. 

Alexander looked up from the book. Dipper never moved his head so fast in his life. He was now a light-headed tomato. 

"Hey Dipper! Mind if I borrow this novel?"

Dipper gets up out of his seat and takes the novel from Alexander to read the title, since he couldn't remember what novel it was. As he walked his pajama pants fell to hang low on his hips, but not too low. He was too sleepy to care if his shirt had also ridden up and was showing off some of his toned stomach and v-line. Oh, but Alexander was enjoying the view. He was a lot more subtle about it than Dipper was with his staring. Mabel still noticed. If it deals with romance, Mabel always notices.

"Sure, but this is the third book in the series. I can help you find the first one, if you're interested." _I'm more interested in those hips (Alexander)._

His words were slurred from sleep deprivation.

"Uh, yeah. But honestly Dipper, when's the last time you slept?"

"About three- no four days ago." 

Alexander actually face-palmed at this. "The damn novel can wait. Go to bed and get some sleep, you look like a drunk zombie."

"No, it's okay. I'm fine, really. I've functioned on less sleep."

"Dipper Pines, you are going to bed now, even if I have to carry you in a fireman's carry." 

"No! You can't make me! Besides I'm a full grown man who's easily five inches taller than you, how can you even lift me." 

"Like this!"

Alexander hefted Dipper onto his bare shoulder with ease and stomped out of the library, Dipper screaming for him to let go and kicking wildly. No matter how hard Dipper tried to break free, he just couldn't. For a guy who doesn't have any noticeable muscles, he sure is strong (Dipper). Alexander carried him all the way to his room, not Dipper's. He dumped the taller man in his bed.

"Now I'm not leaving this room until you stay there and go the fuck to sleep."

Dipper sighed and, knowing there was no way he would win this fight with the demon, got more comfortable and, within 10 seconds was already fast asleep. Alexander, true to his word, stayed in the room and worked on designs for Bill's suit while occasionally glancing at the big baby that was sleeping in his bed. 

Mabel was still back in the library. Her plan just had its first deviation, but the results were more satisfactory than she was hoping for. 

Bill saw everything. Well, everything up until Alexander's room. He was thoroughly amused, and yet felt a twinge of anger deep in his void of a chest. he couldn't tell who it was directed to but he wrote it off as just another stupid human emotion. 

The next day Dipper woke up and panicked for a moment, being in an unfamiliar room and all. He stopped to assess the situation and slowly but surely he started to remember the events of yesterday morning. He began to calm down and felt tired again, but that might've been because he'd been sleeping for a while, he looked at the clock next to the bed and saw that it was 2:17 in the morning. He turned on his side facing the other way and was about to just go back to sleep, when he noticed the dark figure of another person lying next to him. He freaked out for a second there, until he realized that it was Alexander who was sleeping peacefully next to him. He took a minute to study the sleeping man's face. This was one of those moments in which Dipper forgets that Alexander is a demon, and only sees him as a person, a super cute person who was perfect boyfriend material. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> great example of men rocking skirts, google images jaden smith wearing a skirt
> 
> also makeup on guys is pretty great too
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this dumpster of writing so far, i love writing it and it's relatively easy to get inspired on what i want to do with it


	6. Trash Chapter 2: The Trashening Continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title names are getting sillier 
> 
> what is my life

Dipper laid back down and tried to go back to sleep, since it was 2 in the fucking morning. The soft, even breaths from Alexander and his light snores lulled him back to a dreamless sleep.

Sunlight streamed in through the window, which you can't see but it's the Fear-ymid so scientific laws are kind of just thrown out the nonexistent window, and gently woke Dipper up. He had never felt so well rested in his life, he was glad he listened to Alexander's advice. Well, listened is the wrong term, more like forced to. The brightness forced his eyes opened and he was greeted with the sight of Alexander's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful, and so much younger than the probable centuries old he was. He then noticed how close they were, his arms wrapped around the smaller man's torso, Alexander's hands resting against his bare chest, _when did my shirt come off_ , and their legs entwined together. He wanted to simultaneously get up and leave before the other caught him staring, and to stay and enjoy the moment. 

Alexander let out a small groan in his sleep and nuzzled his face into Dipper's bare chest. Dipper blushed bright red, he had never been this close to anyone, especially waking up in the same bed. 

The door to the room slammed open and banged against the wall. Alexander woke up, but was still groggy, cuddling up closer to Dipper.

"Hey Feathers! Is my suit done?" Bill strolled in to the room. He saw them on the bed for only a second and started to feel red-hot rage boiling deep in his torso, causing his one visible eye to change from a golden hue to a bright red. He punched the wall next to the door, leaving a fist-sized hole in the solid wall, and left, slamming the door on his way out. 

"What was his problem?" Alexander asked rubbing his eyes sleepily with one hand, while looking over Dipper's shoulder to the hole in the wall. 

"I have no idea. He just barged in."

The shorter man sighed as he sat up and stretched his arms above his head, a groan leaving his lips. It was then that Dipper noticed he wasn't shirtless like himself, instead he was wearing a super long t-shirt and, he assumed, a pair of boxers that were hidden underneath. Alexander got up from the bed and threw something that landed on Dipper's face blocking out his sight. He grabbed it and realized it was his shirt.

He looked up to see Alexander grabbing a pair of sweat pants from one of the four dressers in his room. 

"Get dressed Sleeping Beauty then go grab yourself some breakfast, and I'll go talk to Bill, and figure out what got him in such a mood." Alexander said, no commanded, in a soft, tired voice as he pulled on the pants and walked out the door. 

It was strange to Dipper what had happened. Not what happened with Bill, but what happened with Alexander just then. He didn't seem at all perturbed at waking up, cuddled up next to the taller boy. It was as if he had always woken up to the sight of those chocolate brown eyes. It was just so domestic. 

On the other side of the Fear-ymid, Bill stood at the railings of a balcony his head in his hands and cigarette in his mouth. His brain and heart void were spinning with a whirlwind of emotions. He couldn't deny that these feelings were actually his, and not just a product of staying in his human form. He was madly in love with _both_ of them. That's why he was so jealous of seeing them together like that, and yet so happy that they seemed happy. He sighed, then took a drag from the cigarette and stared out at the craziness he had caused. 

He heard footsteps behind him, but he already knew that it was Alexander.

"Go away. Leave me alone." 

Alexanders steps never wavered or hesitated, he kept walking until he stood by the taller blonde. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i imagine the fear-ymid as being the same as the show, except there's windows and balconies and stuff hidden from the outside and the only way you see them is either being on a balcony or being inside the fear-ymid


	7. The Oddly Serious Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed the time frame a little, instead of it being only two weeks since Alexander started living in the fear-ymid, its now two years, it just flows better with the story

They stood at the balcony in silence. It was a gloomier day, clouds covering the sky, and the giant rip between dimensions. It was on days like these that things felt normal, that the world wasn't crazy and ruled by a dream demon with exaggerated emotional issues. 

"Are your knuckles ok?" Bill jumped a bit. The question was just so sudden, and deafening in the silence going on around them. 

"What?"

"You punched that wall pretty damn hard. I wouldn't be surprised if you broke them." In his peripheral vision, Bill could see that Alexander was looking at his hands, checking them for damage. As far back as Bill could remember, Alexander was always kind and worrisome, always making sure that everything was alright. It was one of his most endearing qualities. 

"Don't worry about it Feathers, I'm fine, just in a mood. Could you please just leave? I want to think about some things." 

"You got it Bill, take all the time you need." 

Bill heard the retreating footsteps and stared off into the distance, already losing himself to his thoughts. He didn't hear the rush of footsteps heading his way, but he did feel the arms wrap around his torso and smelt the familiar scent of lavender and peppermint. 

"You know Bill. If you need to talk I'm always here. It's what friends are for after all." The smooth voice of alexander soothed him, but one word would haunt him for a while. _Friends._  That's all they were and all they were going to be, nothing more, nothing less. He felt the warmth of the person behind him leave and sunk deeper into his own thoughts and realized that he would have to pretend to not care if they were together. Besides, their happiness comes first, and he wouldn't want to get in the middle of it and mess with something good. 

Back in the Fear-ymid, Dipper was sitting in his library eating some French toast Mabel made. She had become an amazing cook after she insisted on making meals, instead of letting everyone survive on chips and pizza. He was reading while eating, and while not the cleanest decision, it was worth it when he finished the book he was on sooner than expected. Even if his book did have a small syrup stain on one of the pages. Some random 90's rock song was playing quietly in the background of the otherwise silent room. He glanced up, thinking that he saw something and jumped up and gave an _oh so manly_ frightened squeak when he saw Alexander sitting across from him as if he appeared from nowhere. He probably could, being a demon and all. 

Alexander was laughing at that point. "Really Dip, and here I am thinking I'm the girlish one. What was that?"

"You spooked me. It's not my fault you poofed in from nowhere." Dipper's face was red with embarrassment, he may be turning 21 in a month, but he was still the awkward person he always was. No matter how manly he pretended to be.

"But I didn't. I swear Dipper, I literally just walked in and sat down in front of you. You were probably too immersed in your book to notice." 

Dipper stared at him blankly. "So you didn't just pop in here?"

"Nope." 

"Oh."  

Alexander chuckled at the cutie sitting in front of him. He wasn't surprised that some of the girls around the place would talk about him and how they wanted him. But they would have to go through Alexander first, after all in his 200+ years of living he had never met a man who was so adorably dorky. He would have said that Dipper was the most handsome man he's ever met, but Bill already took that spot a long time ago. To think he's been alive for over two centuries. It was unbelievable, especially since he was from a time period where people were lucky to live to the age of fifty. Fifty! And here he was being four times as old. And yet he didn't look a day over twenty. That must've been around the time he became a demon, he couldn't remember that part of his life all too well. He remembered things before and after his demon transformation, but not the actual event itself. 

There were times Alexander hated being a demon, hated the feeling of energy flow through his veins like blood. It was a constant reminder that he would never see his family again and that there was no such thing as normalcy anymore. 

A few hours later and Bill was still standing by the balcony, leaning against the bars. He'd been there the whole time, mind racing a mile a minute, trying to figure out how to deal with these dumb emotions. 


	8. The Chapter Where I Almost Cried While Writing It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no joke get ready for the feels

The air was still gloomy and misty, and anyone who passed by could feel the emotions rolling off of Bill in waves. He stood there the whole time, unmoving, completely unaware of what happened around him. But, he was still the supreme ruler of the world and had duties to attend to, and, of course, Mabel would be the one to get him off his ass. 

She walked out onto the balcony, confidence in her stride and her second-in-command Thomas behind her , and stood next to Bill hands on her hips. She couldn't see his face, since it was covered in his mass of blonde hair.

"Come on Boss Man! Time to get to work. You've got meetings and stuff today." She said, voice's tone containing the same command and usual cheer.

Bill turned to her, and she wasn't going to sugar-coat it, he looked like absolute shit. His eye was bloodshot, there were tear streaks down his cheeks, and his hair was messed up, probably from running his hands through it.

"Go away, Shooting Star. I'd like to be alone right now." His voice was hoarse and quiet, his words barely above a whisper.

Mabel's face fell, in the years of living with the dream demon, she never once saw him actually cry.  _But what would make him cry, he already had everything he could ever want, power, a kingdom to rule, what else would there be? Except for . . . Oh that's it! (Mabel)_ She put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

It was a gesture he was familiar with. Back when Alexander was still human and he didn't know Bill was a demon, he would do that same gesture as a sign of friendship. And Dipper would do it too, but that was mostly when he first started his kingdom and was stressed out. It was a little awkward considering he was still in his demonic triangle form, and he didn't really have shoulders. Having Mabel do it now, calmed him enough to let her lead him inside to sit on the couch, and not the one made from living flesh.

Thomas, who was still in the room, approached Mabel, who was looking down at the demon, head in his hands and staring at the floor. Thomas was a rather tall man, an inch or so taller than Mabel. He had gray eyes and completely white hair. Most people think he dyed it, but it was completely natural and stress produced. He was an extremely timid man in his mid-20s, but Mabel was helping him work on the timid part.

"Uh, M-mabel we still h-have the cent-taurs waiting outs-side. What sh-should we d-do about them?"

Mabel thought for a second. "Tell them to go away and come back some other time, oh and make sure no one comes in here for a while, I have some rather pressing matters to deal with."

Thomas left the room, making sure the door was firmly closed before he left, mentally preparing himself for dealing with the rambunctious centaurs.

Mabel sat down next to Bill, hand returning to his shoulders. She could see how his chest heaved for breath and the tears that fell through the spaces between his fingers.

"Something must be really wrong, huh. You want to talk about it?" Mabel kept her voice low and words comforting. Many people would think it was difficult for her since she always loud and cheerful, but she could just as easily be almost motherly in her comforting.

Bill let out a quiet sigh. "Yeah. You're probably the expert on stupid human emotions anyway, Shooting Star."

"Yeah probably. You can tell me anything Bill, its what life coach Mabel is here for."

He talked for hours, telling Mabel of how at first he thought it was his form being dumb but then realizing he was in love. He told her of how he knows that any day now the two people he loved most in this world, the only two people he ever loved, would end up together and leave him behind. He rambled on about how conflicting it was being simultaneously happy and heartbroken. He had to stop a few times to choke out the words and fight back onslaughts of tears.

All the while mabel sat there and listened, asking the occasional question and absolutely fingerling in her head. After all, this would be the perfect segway into phase 2 of Plan Romance.

When Bill couldn't talk any longer it was already dark outside. His face was a mess and he felt disgusting at having cried so much in a single day, especially since it was in front of a mortal. But, then again, this specific mortal was one of his only friends. Sure, he was well respected among other demons, but that doesn't mean any of them wanted to befriend him. Hell, most of them were terrified of him and the power he wielded. Once Mabel realized he was done pouring his heart out, she pulled him into a warm embrace and rubbed his back, like he was a child who just had a nightmare. He let himself be hugged, it was unfamiliar to him but he liked it. He rested his head on her shoulder and let her do what she wanted.

"Everything will turn out okay Bill. I'm sure of it. You just need to show my idiot brother and that cutie that you love them."

"There's one problem Star. I don't exactly know how to do that, I've never felt like this before." He mumbled into her sweater.

"Don't worry about that Boss Man. I'm a romance expert, I'll help you."

"I'm unsure of whether to be scared or glad." Bill said as he lifted his head and gently pushed Mabel off of him so he could stand. He looked at the Pines twin in front of him and saw nothing but kindness and the want to help in her chocolate eyes, the same eyes as Dipper and yet they were different. they didn't hold the weariness and tired look of his eyes.

The two parted ways and decided to come up with their romantic plan of attack tomorrow. Things were going to get interesting around here.


	9. Breakfast and Awkward Moments

The next morning in the more casual dining room, Bill was sitting there eating some Mabel-cakes, they were like pancakes but with more edible glitter. Even though Bill didn't technically need to eat he liked the variety of tastes and textures that food had to offer. Mabel was of course in the connected kitchen and they were shouting plans to each other.

So far they had come up with the brilliant idea for Bill to confess his love on Dipper's (and Mabel's) birthday, which was two months away, they would be turning 21. There were already plans, made by Mabel to host a giant ball for their party, and inviting tons of people and supernatural beings. Some of the guests would even be from another dimension, courtesy of one of Bill's oldest 'friends'. It would be a more formal occasion with fancy suits and ball gowns. Mabel would make the excuse that it was because 21 is an important age in a person's life, when really it was so Bill could see Dipper in a suit and Alexander and Mabel could have fun designing all the fancy clothes.

With lightening speed they stopped talking as a very tired looking Alexander walked into the room. It was unusual for him to look so worn-out and exhausted, but when a certain brunette entered behind him in a similar state, the two jumped to a conclusion, one that made Bill's face heat up with a mixture of anger and arousal. (wink wonk)

"Ooo, look like someone had a fun night, huh Dip Dop?" Mabel hollered from her place at the stove, already getting two giant plates of her sparkly pancakes ready for the two.

Dipper's face became beet red. "M-mabel it's not what you think. I was just up really late last night doing research and Alexander kept me company. We weren't doing that."

As he spoke Mabel set down the sugary breakfast in front of the two of them. "If you say so Dip Dop. Soooo, Alexander, details please."

"It's like your brother said my friend. Although I wasn't exactly keeping him company, it was more along the lines of making sure he actually went to sleep. By the way Mason, you are taking a nap later today."

"What?! No, I'm not. I'm almost 21 not some toddler who needs a nap time." Dipper looked incredulously at the short man, it was in a mixture of a look of disbelief and like he had been thoroughly insulted.

Bill just stared at all of them with a look of confusion. "Wait. Who's Mason?"

Alexander raised his brow at that one. "Really Bill? I thought you knew lots of things. I didn't expect you to not actually know Dipper's real name."

"Your real name's Mason!" Bill practically screeched, staring at Dipper with one golden eye.

It was impossible for Dipper's face to get any redder. The kitchen/dining room combo was silent. Mabel was too invested in what was going on to notice the pancakes burning, until she smelt it. "Damn! Welp, there go some Mabel-cakes."

The rest of breakfast was spent in an awkward silence, the only sounds being of eating and the scraping of forks on plates.

They had spoken of the birthday plans later that day and got mixed reactions. Alexander was, of course, pumped, already dragging Mabel away to plan the decor and food, and well, everything. Dipper was, to put it bluntly, not looking forward to it at all. He wasn't a party person, never was. He was glad there'd be tons of booze and fruity alcoholic drinks to get him through, though.

Two months passed by rather quickly, and before anyone knew it the ballroom was being prepped for the party. Not even Bill knew why he had a ballroom in the Fear-ymid, even though he was the one who designed and built the whole place single-handedly. But it wasn't bad, it was spacious and over-the-top, perfect for a Bill Cipher and Mabel Pines party. Honestly, it would be a surprise if the two didn't destroy the Fear-ymid because of it.

He walked through the halls and wasn't exactly focusing on where he was going, which was rare for him, but he just needed a walk. Ever since that time that Alexander forced him to sleep after one of his research binges, the raven-haired man hasn't left him alone for two long. It wasn't like he was stalking him, more like being a mother hen and just making sure Dipper took care of himself. They had gone on a few dates, mostly picnics to beautiful areas around the world. But they never got farther than hugs. Which was fine with Dipper, being the awkward young man he is.

When he finally got out of his thoughts he noticed he was standing in front of Alexander's room, his hand about to knock on the door. Did he subconsciously want to check on the other man who hadn't come out all day? Probably. He gave three short raps on the door and waited. He could hear a girlish shriek and some shuffling before the door was opened, revealing a shirtless and pants-less Alexander. Sitting behind him on the floor was Thomas minus a shirt and Gideon.

Ever since the events of Weirdmaggedon, Gideon had shifted from a rival to a friend much like Pacifica had. He was no longer the short, fat little Gideon everyone remembered. He was now very thin and his usually dyed beach blonde hair went back to its natural dirty blonde. He was smirking devilishly. A game of poker was set up in the middle of the floor and Dipper realized what he interrupted, a game of strip poker.

"Oh, hey Dipper. What's up?" Alexander said to him in that smooth androgynous voice of his. It really didn't help the blush that was creeping up on Dipper's face. That voice and that body were doing unspeakable things to his mind right now.

"Nothing much. Just was a bit concerned is all, since I haven't seen you around at all today. Which is weird cause you're usually breathing down my neck."

"What, can't a boyfriend be concerned at the wellbeing of their significant other? Anyway I just needed a break from party planning so I decided to host a game of strip poker. Wanna join? It'll be fun."

"Uhm, sure why not."


	10. Strip Poker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes this chapter is short 
> 
> enjoy the extra update for the day tho

Alexander opened the door wider to let Dipper in. He sat down around the pile of cards and looked out to the other's faces. "Uh, hey guys."

"H-hey." Of course, Thomas would be a bit of a nervous wreck. He always was.

"Why hello Dipper. Long time no see." The southern or maybe western drawl of Gideon's voice never fully left, it was just deeper and more matured.

Alexander sat next to him on his right, his legs bending to the side, causing him to support his weight on the left side of his butt. His bare chest and legs there for the world to see.

"Soooo, how does this go?"

"Never played strip poker before Pines? It's pretty simple, the person with the worst hand that round has to remove a piece of clothing and we keep going till either someone's naked or everyone but one person is left in their undies." Gideon explained as he sealed out the next hand. Dipper thought fuck it and grabbed his hand.

A few rounds later and he was down to his shirt and underwear. Thomas had lost his pants and Gideon lost his shirt, finally. Alexander somehow got lucky and didn't have to lose his boxers. They were having a good time, until the door slam open and the one and only Mabel walked in and stated yelling.

"Alexander, I need your help it's a fashion emergency."

The room went quiet.

"You know what, I'm just gonna go."

And with that Mabel left. The others weren't very disturbed by her presence. Probably because both Gideon and Alexander had no shame, and Dipper was her brother. Thomas however was beet red. The rest of his body slowly reddening in embarrassment.

He may be Mabel's second-in-command but that doesn't mean he wanted her to see him nearly naked. Gideon just raises an eyebrow at the white-haired man. "What's wrong with you hun?"

"N-none of you were b-bothered by that?"

The others look at each other. "Well then you think about it, she's my sister, Alexander is centuries old and probably has no shame" Alexander nodded at that, "and Gideon's, well, Gideon." Dipper glances to Gideon who's giving him a death glare.

Gideon stands, he's a bit taller than Dipper and is all slim torso and long limbs, and stretches. "Well this fun sugar, but we should probably get going, after all there's a huge party tomorrow." Thomas goes to stand, but remembers his clothing and pulls the articles on, grabbing Gideon's shirt for him.

"Wait, we?" Dipper looks at incredulously.

"You got it Pinesy. Thomas and I are roommates, poor thing hates being alone so I offered to bunk with him."

Without another word the two leave the room, leaving the others alone in the room. They sit on the floor, Dipper in his shirt and boxers, and Alexander in his boxers.

Alexander stands and stretches, his crotch right in Dipper's line of sight. The taller man blushes profusely and looks away.

It was now around one in the morning. Dipper looks up to see a hand extended towards him, he takes it and the black-haired man pulls him up. He looks at the clock on the wall.

"Oh, would you look at that." He grabs Dipper by the collar of his shirt and plants a sweet chaste kiss on his slightly chapped lips. Dipper doesn't kiss back as he's too surprised at what the fuck just happened. When Alexander pulls away, Dipper grabs the back of his head and pulls him into a longer kiss. "Well, Happy Birthday Dipper."

"And it's a great start to a birthday at that."


	11. A Smol Bean in a Dress and An Incredibly Uncomfortable Tall Bean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what i'm doing
> 
> this is a mess, how does one write clothes

In the morning, everything is busier than ever in the palace of weirdness, everyone is running around preparing for the party/ball. Everything was going rather smoothly, especially since Mabel was in charge of, well, everything. Dipper waited until last minute to get dressed up, since it was the part he hated the most, besides the social interaction. Mabel had picked his outfit for the night out, so his little boyfriend couldn't see it. It was a simple black tux with a tailcoat and black bow tie, complete with gold pine-tree shaped cufflinks. Also his hair was brushed neatly for once, and showed of his constellation shaped birthmark. Nothing too fancy, since Dipper hated fancy dress. He was currently waiting outside Alexander's workshop where he and Mabel were getting ready, the party was supposed to start in a few minutes and, even if he was reluctant in having the party, didn't want to be late.

In a grand slamming of the door, on Dipper's face might I add, Mabel walked out in a hot pink, puffy ball gown with a tiara and full-on make-up. She spread out her arms and spun around, the dress flowing with the motion.

"Well what do you think Dip Dop?"

"It's nice." He replied as he rubbed at his sore nose. _Ow, that hurt like hell. (Dipper)_ He was lucky it didn't break with all the doors he's had slammed on his face throughout his life. The door was still open and you could see clearly inside. The whole room was in chaos random suits and dresses everywhere, random colorful boxes toppled over and their contents spilled onto the floor, and a few decapitated mannequins were lying on the floor, their heads a few feet away from their torsos. It was as if a tornado came through the room and completely devastated it.

Alexander was nowhere to be seen.

Dipper was about to ask Mabel where the raven-haired man was, until he felt a tap on his shoulder that made him jump a good few feet in the air. He spun around and saw Alexander giggling to himself. _Damn! (Dipper)_ He looked absolutely stunning. He wore a navy blue floor-length dress that hugged his feminine curves, it was sleeveless and showed off his pale freckled shoulders. Although Dipper couldn't see, the back of the dress was open and it went to the base of his spine. Around his waist was a black lace sash. After staring at Alexander for about a full three minutes, he looked up at the man's face and noticed that the shorter man was totally checking him out in his tailored suit.

"You clean up nice, Mason. You should dress up more often." Their eyes met each other, chocolate brown and ocean blue.

"Uh, thanks. You, um, look, just, wow." Dipper mentally face-palmed himself, he couldn't believe they had been going out for two months and the human-turned demon could still turn his brain to mush.

His sister and boyfriend just chuckled at him. Mabel poked him forward and he gave a quiet yelp. He looked back and saw her doing random hand motions and mouthing something, the only word he could decipher was 'gentleman'. _Oh, she wants me to act gentlemanly, probably, most likely. (Dipper)_ He turned back to the man in the stunning dress, who was looking out the window at the slowly approaching sunset, and audibly cleared his throat. Alexander turned to meet Dipper's still flushed face, and saw the arm that was held out ready for him to take.

The three walked down the halls, Mabel in the front and Dipper and Alexander taking up the rear. It was strange to see, Dipper being so close to tripping in his dress shoes and Alexander taking graceful strides in his black heels. But they managed to keep pace with the almost speed-walking brunette girl.

Mabel excitedly was trying to tell them that they needed to get her 'date'. In reality she was helping Gideon get Thomas to come out of their shared room. Turning around a corner they saw Gideon standing there in a sky blue suit staring at a door with an irate look on his face. He glanced to the side and saw the three walking towards him.

"Thank heavens! Maybe you can get him out of there dear." The dirty-blonde said as he looked directly at Mabel, in her sparkly glory. It wouldn't be a Mabel dress if it didn't sparkle.

Gideon moved to the side to let Mabel stand in front of the door. She gave it a light knock and asked Thomas if she could come into the room in a soft voice. A barely audible sound of approval was heard from the other side of the door, but that was all Mabel needed and she took no hesitation in entering.

"So, Gideon, Thomas won't come out of his room."

"I'm 'fraud not Pines. He just refuses to come out. Seemed more nervous than usual."

"Can't say I blame him."

Not two seconds after Dipper finished his sentence they heard Mabel screaming.

"Thomas Malcolm Davis, you are going to this party whether you like it or not!"

The door slams open, Mabel can't open or close doors any other way, and out comes a nicely dressed Thomas being physically pushed out of his room by a surprisingly strong Mabel. He looked nice in his dark grey suit with a red vest and matching tie and, although he was a nervous wreck, his waist-length snowy hair was tied into a braid that laid nicely against his back and was tied with a red ribbon.

The five of them traveled the short distance towards the ballroom. Mabel and Gideon in the front, Dipper and Alexander in the back, and Thomas sandwiched in between them.

The doors to the ballroom were already open and people could be seen standing around and socializing. It was an interesting mix of demons and people, werewolves and pixies, among other assorted creatures. Even the multi-bear was there, he was cool with Bill ever since he helped the poor beast with his slight Man-ataur problem (even though Dipper sorta did that already, I felt like they would still bully him from time to time). There was a very, very long buffet-style food table to one side of the room, and on the other was a single set of double doors made of glass that led outside to a large balcony. Speakers were placed on every wall and they currently were playing some lovely classical music. Waiters were walking around all over the place with glasses of wine and champagne on their trays.

This looked like it was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing dress descriptions is hard
> 
> and yes i referred to my ocs as beans, don't judge me


	12. Dipper Gets Drunk and Shit Happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *jumps into a dumpster*
> 
> home sweet home

The group split up, Mabel dragging Thomas to dance with her, Gideon following them, and Dipper and Alexander going to track down a waiter to get some alcohol. The two continued to wander around aimlessly drinking wine, Alexander couldn't get drunk being a demon and all, but he still liked the taste of it. It had been an hour into the party. They continued their stroll until Dipper caught sight of a certain lord of the dimension. He stood there by the wall observing the crowd, searching it. He wore a golden shirt with a tailcoat, a brick pattern towards the bottom. It was accompanied by a black bowtie, black slacks and dress shoes. He had a cane with him a simple black one with a golden head, and his signature top hat that floated above his head. His eye seemed to glow as he looked into the crowd.

Alexander was turned away from the fellow demon, speaking to an inhumanly tall man with white hair and skin, so he didn't see the way Bill caught Dipper's gaze and a light blush dusted his lightly tanned cheeks while Dipper's face turned bright red.

Bill walked towards the two just as the white-haired man left and Alexander turned around. Bill stopped in his tracks when he did. Anyone who glanced over would see Bill's face slowly get redder, and possibly the way he was undressing the shorter man with his eyes. He quickly snapped out of the beauty induced trance he was under and focused again on Dipper. He had a devilish smirk on his face and you could see the cogwheels turning in his mind as he cooked up an almost sadistic idea.

"Hey there Pine Tree, Feathers."

"Hello William." "Hey Dorito demon."

"Well birthday boy, wanna playa drinking game with me?" His smirk grew larger.

"I don't know, you might cheat like with the puppet thing."

"I promise I won't, in fact I'll even make a bet with you." He snapped his fingers and a table appeared between them, there were about 10 shot glasses on each side, each glass filled with a completely clear liquid that Dipper knew for a fact was not water. "The person who can't do the most shots must go into Feather's personal wardrobe and wear the sluttiest outfit he has for the rest of the party."

Dipper looked skeptical but stood to one side of the table anyway. After only two shots of the extremely alcoholic vodka Dipper threw in the towel, he could've done a few more if he didn't also drink so much wine. He gave a hiccup as Bill downed all of his shots and the ones Dipper didn't drink, which added up to eighteen in all. Dipper was already leaning heavily on the table, his head fuzzy and thoughts barely functioning. The only thing going through his head was the fact he would have to walk around all these people in an outfit that Bill would no don't pick out the most revealing slutty outfit that he could.

He felt Alexander take one arm and Bill take the other and lead him out of the party towards Alexander's room. The two knew they wouldn't be missed too much, there were plenty of people and Manel could easily capture all of their attention.

They entered the room and dumped Dipper, as gently as they could, onto Alexander's bed. Bill then immediately went to the huge walk-in closest and started searching.

"Do I reeealleh hav t' dew thisss?" Dipper slurred, not even trying to sit up and instead putting his arm on his face. His cheeks were flushed and before he covered his eyes they were unfocused. Well, at least now he knew how much of a lightweight he was. He couldn't see the way Alexander was looking at him, it was a mixture of love, worry, and concern. But mostly love. After all, Dipper looked absolutely adorkable drunk off his ass. He felt a hand ruffle through his hair, and peeked out from behind his arm, a smug Bill looking back at him. He was holding something behind his back in such a way that neither Dipper nor Alexander could see.

"What do you have there, William?" Alexander looked at Bill, a stern look in his ocean eyes. His arms were now crossed and he almost looked like a strict mother about to reprimand their toddler, which he basically was in this instant.

"Well, the bet was he'd have to wear something slutty and I just so happened to find these little beauties." He held out an incredibly short lingerie black, see-through dress, and a pair of black lace panties. Alexander looked mortified and Dipper was staring at a wall.

"Mason. Is. Not. Wearing. That."

"Why not Feathers? A deal's a deal. Besides, why do you even have this?" He held up the dress? in front of Alexander's face and it was almost viciously ripped out of Bill's hand and stuffed it into a dresser drawer.

"How about instead of wearing lingerie he just wears a dress? Besides your deal was entirely unfair, you cheated. Demons can't get drunk." Alexander says going into his closet.

"You're dodging the question." Bill said, a sing-songy tone to his voice. He heard the raven-haired man give a frustrated huff.

"I kinda wanna know too." Dipper slurred, still laying down on his back. Bill rolled his eye and propped the barely a man up and let him lean on his shoulder. They sat like that for a moment in relative silence. Well, that is if Dipper couldn't hear the rapid beating of Bill's pseudo-heart in his chest.

"Hey Bill. Can I tell ya sommin?" Dipper said, his words spoken in a drunken slur and distorted from his cheek pushing into Bill's rather bony shoulder.

"Sure thing Pine Tree, you can tell me anything." If his pseudo-heart wasn't beating hard enough, it was definitely now.

"I love you, but I'm confused."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliffhanger
> 
> and goddammit bill, ya cheating asshole


	13. Confessions and Complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wasn't supposed to go this way, i originally was going to make the boys all wear dresses and for it to be cute and fluffy
> 
> but then my brain was like 'ANGST' and i couldn't resist

Bill felt like he died and gone to heaven. Even though 'heaven' didn't exist and it was just another dimension people mistook for purgatory. He had to stop for a moment and let the words sink in.

"Wait a second. Why are you confused?"

"Well, I do love you, but I also love Alexander just as much. But I know I'll probably have to chose between you guys, I don't think I can though and you guys probably wouldn't want to share or whatever. I don't know, it's all just confusing." Dipper managed to keep talking, and although his words were slurred, Bill understood. He understood all too well.

"You know Dipper, I feel the same about you, both of you. And when I saw the two of you together I was extremely happy for you both, you both seemed so happy and yet, I was hurting because then I thought I wouldn't be able to have either of you. But Shooting Star changed my mind."

"Mabel! How'd she do that?" Dipper looked up to Bill and nuzzled further into his shoulder, squishing his flushed cheek further.

"She told me that, if you both would have me of course, that I could be with both of you at the same time." Bill looked down at Dipper lovingly.

"Well, I know I'd gladly be in a relationship with you, even though you tried to kill me multiple times and possessed my body, but I'm not so sure about Alexander." His words weren't as slurred and it seemed as if he sobered up a bit. 

Unbeknownst to them, the raven-haired man was hidden just inside the walk-in closet's door and heard everything. He didn't know what to think. He knew that Dipper loved him but he always had the suspicion about Bill, but thought he was just seeing things. He didn't know what to do, so he did the only thing that seemed logical. He left the room, threw what was in his hands, which ended up being thrown at Bill's face, and ran out into the hallway. He kept going until he was in his workshop, closing and locking the door. He slid down to the floor, among the chaos he and Mabel created in their frenzy, and pulled his knees to his chest. He had taken off his heels in his room and was now putting his face against his knees.

He sat there looking like a child for a while. Head in his knees and arms wrapped around him. He was confused and scared about what was going to happen. He knew about polyamory and even knew some people who were currently in a polyamorous relationship, but he didn't know if he loved Bill. He knew he felt something for his demonic friend, but he wasn't sure if it was love. His emotions were battling inside of him, all of them fighting in a confusing battle in his chest and head. He was so frustrated with everything he ended up sobbing.

A soft knock was heard, and he could feel it, he hadn't moved and was still sitting against the door. He didn't reply and stayed silent. A few stray tears were still dripping down his cheeks. The makeup he was wearing was all streaked down his face and his eyes were bloodshot. He was tired but he didn't want to move. 

"Hey babe. Can I come in?" Dipper's soft voice sounded loud in the silent room. There was no answer. "Is everything ok?" Still no answer. A few seconds of deafening silence followed. "Well, when you want to talk about it, I'm always here for you." Alexander could hear the footsteps walking away from the door. 

The party was still going on and everyone was having fun, oblivious to the drama that just took place. Everyone except one person. He was tall, inhumanly so, with pure white hair and skin. His hair was shoulder-length and incredibly curly. His right eye a pale red, and his left eye multi-colored, a ring of pale yellow around his pupil followed by a ring of pale blues and greens. He wore a simple black cloak that wrapped around his whole body. He was a being from another dimension, a purgatory-like dimension filled with forests and strange creatures. Very few people knew the man's real name, and those who didn't simply called him The Beast.

He could sense the trouble in the air, could almost see it. He turned towards his companions for the night, a young man and woman. They seemed to be having fun, even if they were the rather shy wallflower types. He hoped he wouldn't be missed as he traveled through the halls of the unfamiliar Fear-ymid. Living in a world largely taken up by forests, he had developed a great sense of directions over the centuries and easily found his way to Bill's private balcony. Said dream demon was there and next to him was his right-hand man. They seem troubled, which is understandable given the circumstances. From his place by the door, The Beast could easily hear what they were saying. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my poor confused smol bean
> 
> also i know the common thing is that The Beast has gray eyes and sandy hair, but this is my story and i just see him as a almost skeletal figure and white just suits him better in my mind


	14. The Beast Is Actually A Pretty Nice Guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe so many people have read this already
> 
> to me 300+ hits is a lot
> 
> thank you all for reading this, it gives me the motivation and drive to keep writing
> 
> also, my friends who help me think of plot ideas and are sorta my beta-readers told me to tell you to comment, it honestly really makes my day when i read them, even if they're dumb and aren't exactly heartfelt i enjoy them all the same
> 
> well, back to the angst

Bill felt the presence behind them and could tell exactly who it was even with his eyes closed. There was always a coldness that seeped into any room The Beast was in, he seemed to radiate it. Many people felt uncomfortable with the demon's presence, but not Bill. After all, they had been friends since before even humanity started, they were closer than friends actually, more like brothers than anything else. The ancient being walked up, taking little time to get across the balcony with his long, almost gliding strides. He came to stand on the other side of Bill, towering over him. Dipper gave The Beast a wary glance, but said nothing.

Dipper shivered a bit, the air around him getting colder by the second. But with a snap of Bill's fingers, his stuffy suit jacket changed into a nice warm hoodie. He muttered a small thanks to the dream demon, who replied with a nod.

"So what's gotten into that little changeling of yours?" The incredibly deep voice of The Beast rang through the air. Dipper was sure that a human's voice could never be that deep, yet easy to understand, and oddly compelling.

"I have no idea. He won't talk to either of us though, so it isn't like I could find out." Bill sound tired, which at 11 at night made sense. "How did you even know something was wrong with Feathers? Did he talk to you?"

"You forget Bill, I can sense these things. Despair, fear, confusion, they all attract me, like a magnet attracts metal. I thought you would've known what was wrong with him, given his association with you."

"It's not as easy as things are in your forest world Beasty. At least you don't have to worry about love."

"Speak for yourself Cipher, unlike you I have my relationship put together already. I don't see why you can't do the same with yours."

Bill looked towards the looming figure. "Relationship? When did this happen?"

"A few years ago, Alexander already knows. Maybe I could try to talk to him. Having a third-party's perspective might make him rethink this a bit, and come out of wherever he's decided to hide."

"I don't know Beasty. Doesn't seem like a good idea."

"Are you stupid Bill, it's the best idea I've heard all night. If we try to talk to him, he shuts us outs, but if your friend here tried Alexander might actually listen and consider what he says." The others were shocked at Dipper's outburst, he had barely uttered a word until now. But he had a point, Bill thought, and so he gave The Beast the go ahead. Off the demon went to follow that sense of fear and confusion that could only be Alexander.

He came to a door along a long hallway where the sense was the strongest. He could tell that the poor thing was on the other side, sitting against the door, possibly deep in thought. He gave a few taps on the door with his knuckles, the sound seeming to echo down the hall.

Alexander's voice sounded hoarse, as if he'd been full-out sobbing, and given his frustration, he probably did.

"Go away Bill. I know it's you."

"That's where you'd be wrong Alexander."

"Beast! What do you want? Did those two put you up to this?"

"Not exactly. May I come in? I promise you I just want to talk."

From the other side of the door Alexander gave out a sigh. He really didn't feel like talking right now, but it was the only option and who knows, maybe the ancient forest demon could help him figure all this out. He got up on stiff legs, he really should not have been sitting on the floor like that, and turned towards the door. In any other circumstance he would've used magic to get rid of the mess on his face, but he didn't care anymore.

The Beast wasn't surprised at the image in front of him when the fellow demon opened the door. Alexander refused to look him in the face, even though he rarely did anyways since it hurt his neck to lean his head back that far, and moved aside to let the taller man in.

It was times like these when the old demon was glad Bill was as spontaneous in his architecture as he was with anything, it caused all of the Fear-ymids doors to be extremely tall, easily accommodating the white-haired man. Usually he would have to bend down pretty far to fit in any doorways and the ceilings were always too short, just one of the many reasons he enjoyed the outdoors so much.

The shorter man closed the door and resumed his earlier sitting position, this time with The Beast sitting across from him, his long legs criss-crossed and posture perfect.

"So what seems to be the problem changeling?"

"I-I don't know. It's all so confusing. I love Mason, and I know he feels the same, but now knowing that he and Bill share those same mutual feelings scares me, and I don't understand why."

"Have you thought about a polyamorous relationship between the three of you?"

"Well yeah, but the problem with that is I don't know if I love Bill like he seems to love me. I want to, but I don't know if I can."

"The only thing I can tell you Alexander is that shutting those two out won't help you, but maybe, just maybe if you sat down and talked with them, you could figure this whole mess out."

Alexander gave a small sad smile at that and looked up into The Beast's face. "You know what Beast, you're probably right. I'll be sure to do that with them. How's it going with your two little love birds?"

They sat there talking for a while. It felt good for Alexander to get away from the subject for a while and simply talk with his ancient friend and hearing a few of the rather embarrassing stories he had about his lovers. Things seemed to be looking up for him. Bill and Dipper returned to the party and tried to put their troubles on the back burner and have fun.

Little did anyone know that something was coming, something big, something that could change all of their lives for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright time for a bit of background
> 
> changeling is simply a term demons use to refer to someone or something that was transformed into a demon in some way
> 
> it's sorta like half-blood in the harry potter world, except it isn't used in a discriminatory way or as a racial slur, its more like a human calling a fellow person 'human' 
> 
> on another note, as a fellow short person, i understand the struggle of having to literally look up to people to talk to them, after all I'm 5'2 while my friends are mostly above 5'5 and some are 6 and over
> 
> the struggle is real
> 
> btw beast is like 8 and a half feet tall in this


	15. A Nice Fluff Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have some tooth-rotting fluff

Alexander was still distant for a few days, only really talking to Mabel and Thomas for the most part. It wasn't that he wasn't going to take The Beast's advice, he was just working up the courage to bring the rather difficult discussion, for him at least, up. The Fear-ymid was relatively quiet now, no people or creatures coming to their ruler with problems, complaints, or requests. It was a little too quiet, but no one complained since it was less to worry about and less to do. The Beast had left after his chat with Alexander, he couldn't stay any longer although he wanted to. After all, if he stayed his partners would have to stay as well, since one of them was human and the other was a humanoid, and he did;t want to keep them away from their everyday lives too much. He may be a demon who used to harvest lost souls, but he was a respectable boyfriend when it came to things like this.

About five days after the party, Dipper and Bill were lounging around in one of the many sitting rooms, watching Marvel movies (because they're awesome and everyone likes superheroes, for the most part). It was another lazy day and a movie marathon seemed like a good idea. That is until Dipper realized how much like a cat Bill acted. He was currently laying across the smaller man's chest, slightly crushing him but any time Dipper tried to move him he'd go right back. So he just had to lay there and deal with a dream demon literally immobilizing him while they watched Loki take over Manhattan. (I've seen The Avengers too many times.) It wasn't so bad though, there were plenty of snacks and Pitt cola for the both of them.

They were pretty invested into the movie at this point and didn't notice the third party that walked into the room until they decided to join the pile of bodies and laid on top of Bill.

"Hey guys, is this The Avengers, I love this movie." It seemed that his alone time turned Alexander around a bit and he was ready to spend some time with the two of them. Unfortunately for Dipper that means the weight of another person on his ribs, or so he thought. It seemed that Alexander could make himself seem weightless and as light as feather. (heh heh Bill's nickname for him is feathers, this was too perfect)

"Whose your favorite Avenger?" Dipper had seen this movie a few times and Bill, although this was his first time watching it, could easily block them out while they bantered.

"Definitely Iron Man. Not only is his suit awesome, but I like his smartass attitude and c'mon, it's Robert Downey Jr. He's like one of the hottest actors in the world, almost as hot as Tom Hiddleston."

"Great to see you think they're so attractive." Dipper groaned.

"Well, they might be attractive but they can't hold a candle to how cute you are, or how hot Bill is."

"Glad to see I'm better looking than these actor guys." Bill commented from his position in this sandwich of bodies, eye still glued to the screen.

Everything seemed to be going back to a form of normalcy. It was nice and serene. All three of them knew they would have to talk about the whole relationship at some point but they were content to just let things happen naturally. They stayed like that watching movies for a while, occasionally getting up to stretch, get more food, and switch to more comfortable positions. The best position, they noted, was that Dipper and Bill would sit next to each other and lean towards each other while Alexander sat on their laps like a child and lean into their chests. The main reason it worked was because compared to the taller men, he was very small and lithe, it also helped that his butt wasn't incredibly bony.

Mabel, Thomas, and even Gideon at one point wandered into the room and, since there was no more room on the couch, were laying and sitting on the floor. By around midnight, the relatively small room turned into a giant nest of blankets and pillows, and a few more people joined the impromptu sleepover, one of them being the Beast himself and the others being people who attended the party. One of them was a young man about Dipper's age, maybe a year or two older, with dark shaggy brown hair and dark gray eyes, he was a full head taller than the Pines twin and was all long arms and legs. He said his name was Walter but he preferred to be called Wirt. The other was a young woman seeming to be about 20, she was an inch shorter than Alexander and had an incredibly short electric blue pixie cut and hazel eyes. Her body was covered in tattoos and other than that she seemed like any normal person. Her name was Rohan. Oh, did I forget to mention she has four arms, cause she does.

The two of them and The Beast were all cuddled up on the floor by the couch. Well Wirt and Rohan were cuddled up together, the girl wrapping all four limbs around him in an almost death grip while he didn't seemed fazed. The Beast was sort of their cushion to lean back on as the two of them sat between his legs.

At this point they switched movies and started on The Lord of the Rings. People dozed on and off but one or two people were always awake and they kept watching movies throughout the night and into the morning. Mabel made some kick-ass French toast and everyone was sitting around and chatting. Bill got along really well with Rohan, both of them having the same crazy personality and spontaneousness. She was a rather lively person which perfectly matched with The Beast's calmness and Wirt's overall awkwardness. Also, unlike her thin and lanky partners, the was quite chubby and had a rather round face. Unlike most people in the room she somehow seemed the most inhuman, probably because of the multiple sets of arms, although in reality she was the closest thing in the room to human. Besides the actual humans of course.

They would've stayed longer but Rohan had a job back in her home-dimension and Wirt had to go visit his younger half-brother for the day, so good ol' Beast took them home and left the six of them to their lazy day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rohan is my new smol bean
> 
> i have also realized some things  
> 1\. both relationships feature demons and polyamory  
> 2\. The Beast and Alexander are both the parental types and are generally the most calm  
> 3\. Wirt and Dipper are the more shy, awkward and nerdy  
> 4\. Rohan and Bill are the crazy ones 
> 
> the similarities happened by accident and weren't planned but are staying bc i deem it so


	16. The Beast/Wirt/Rohan Chapter That No-one Asked For

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please note i wrote this while having a 27-28 hour of no sleeping streak
> 
> i decided to not continue the story with weather tree (william-feathers-pine tree) because I'm sleep-deprived and don't want to accidentally mess it up

It was a nice day in the Unknown, then again there rarely was any other kind of day in the purgatory-like dimension. Birds were singing and a pleasant breeze rustled the leaves of the various trees that made up the large forest. Ever since The Beast's soul was broken out of the lantern, he found he could shift his form slightly. He could go from his shadow form to his Edelwood form and his human form willingly, although he preferred to be in his more human form most of the time. The day was so nice in fact that he felt he had to share it with his two favorite people, which most people would find surprising. Before he was free from his oil-burning prison, his more love and care centered emotions were stuck in the lantern, leaving him only with anger and determination to keep the lantern lit. But now, he had his full range of emotion back and could start to piece the old him back together.

The three of them were on a pleasant walk along the dirt road. Wirt donned on his old cone hat and cape again, he felt oddly attached to it and would always wear the items while in the Unknown. While Rohan, in all her four-armed glory, wore a simple pair of black slacks and a black tank-top that showed of the hundreds of tattoos on her arms. Both of her boys liked the ink on her skin and on lazy days back in her apartment on the couch the two could be seen unconsciously tracing over the black markings. The markings made no sense to either of them, being in some language that neither knew, and tribal-looking markings that held some sort of significance that only Rohan knew.

The two men walked side by side, hand in hand, taking their time to enjoy that sereness one could only get in a forest. the only thing that broke the quiet was Rohan running up a few feet ahead of them to get her energy out. She was like a giant kid, running around the woods and chasing some critters here and there. The Beast was always amused with how animated the girl was, whilst Wirt would just roll his eyes. He couldn't help but to think of how that child-like attitude could get that energetic girlfriend of his into some serious trouble one day, in the back of his head he was endeared by that quality. It reminded him of Greg, who grew out of that stage about a year after their near-death experience.

She knew she probably looked ridiculous but she couldn't care less, she had too much energy that she needed to exert. When you have an extra-set of arms, a second-heart, and extra nerves and blood vessels, you tend to produce more energy than is really needed. It was one of the reasons she became chubby, extra energy production means more hunger, which for Rohan means more junk food. She knew she was an avid snacker and needed to stop eating so much ice-cream and sweets. Luckily for her, she spent plenty of time with a certain worry-wart (or should i say worry-Wirt, heh heh) who was constantly worried about her health.

"Hurry up, you slow-pokes!" She called back, already ahead of them by at least 20 feet. She loved the woods. It was one of those places she had never seen before accidentally getting herself caught in a wormhole that was on the roof of her apartment building and ended up landing ass first in front of Wirt in the very place they were in right now. She was city girl through and through, born and raised in pollution and people filled streets. The fresh air and solitude was paradise for her.

It had only been a year since Wirt found Rohan sprawled out on the forest floor with a broken arm and at least nine broken fingers, and only eight months since the three of them got together. Just a little over a year ago if anyone had told Rohan that she'd be dating two attractive men and travel through dimensions she'd have called them even nuttier that her. Then again, if someone told Wirt he would be dating a four-armed lady monster, he'd have asked if they were alright or playing a prank on him. Yet here they are, enjoying the sun on a nice stroll through the woods.

The sun had started to set and it would quickly get dark, and no matter how much The Beast enjoyed the woods at night and how much Wirt had become accustomed to it over time, Rohan just had to leave. Ever since she was young, she was terrified of cloudy nights, like how it was looking now. It brought back bad memories.

"Uhm, hey Worry-Wirt (10/10 new nickname) why don't we go to your place and be romantic dorks there." Her usual cheery and light tone, turned nervous and a slight bit scared.

Wirt noticed this, he always noticed things like this. "As long as you don't mind bringing us there dear?" He turned to The Beast who was looking down at them (not in a superficial manner, remember he's over 8 foot tall) and seemed to ponder it, although Wirt could see the mischievous look he had in his mis-matched eyes. It was a look he didn't see often but when it reared its head, things tended to either get weird or embarrassing. Sort of like the time when they were by the lake and out of nowhere he tripped over a tree root and landed in the water getting soaked and covered in mud. The Beast was real proud of himself then, well he did make Rohan snort with laughter, literally she snorted a few times in the midst of her hyena-like laughter, but it was cute so Wirt let that slide, but just barely.

"Alright Young Lover, but I'll stay here. Your little home is always too cramped for me anyway."

"It's not our fault your freakishly tall Beasty." Her own statement made her laugh, it didn't take much to tickle her funny bone, she did have four of them after all. (heh skele-humour)

The tallest of the three just smirked a little and before the others knew what was going on they landed on the floor of Wirt's living room. Rohan on the floor with Wirt's face directly in the valley of her boobs. What made it worse was that Wirt's housemate, Johnathan, was sitting right there on the couch and was watching Sherlock. The poor sandy blonde just paused his show and left the room.

A high-pitched shout was heard from the other room. "Warn a guy next time you're going to kinky teleporting shit with your hentai girlfriend!"

"Nice to see you too Johnny-Boy!" Rohan yelled back as she lifted the shock-frozen brunette off of her and stood. Wirt followed, face beet-red. He turned away, teeth gritted together in anger towards the forest demon.

"He's so gonna get it."

Rohan laughed. "We both know you're not gonna do anything to Beasty, Worry-Wirt. You always say that."

"How do you know I don't mean it this time?"

"Because Walter, I know you well enough by now to know you aren't the kinda guy to fight your boyfriend over a harmless prank." With that she walked past him into the kitchen, where Jonathan was. He totally wasn't there just to eavesdrop, he was trying to find something to snack on. She opened the fridge and took the big bag of grapes that the boys kept in there.

"Back off monster-lady, those aren't yours." Johnathan snarled at her, ever since she showed up she kept stealing all their food.

"Leave her alone John. Besides I bought those with my money, she can have them if she wants."

"Whatever." With that he left, leaving the two alone in the kitchen. They were both used to his behavior by now, besides he was moving out soon, so they let his attitude drop. They spent the rest of the night commandeering the tv and eating healthy snacks.


	17. Alexander Can Play Piano, Don't Question It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reference song for later  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PjDQOPrHJA  
> you'll know when to play it
> 
> i feel that with my rambling style of writing people get lost easily
> 
> I'm sorry for that
> 
> if you have any questions or confusions, put them in the comments and i'll try to clear things up

Back in the Fear-ymid, things went back to being busy and hectic as usual. Bill was usually in meetings, rather boring and trivial ones that made him want to rip his hair out, and Dipper was either with Bill in his meetings or studying artifacts and researching codes. The unlucky thing for Dipper was that during these meetings he would sit right next to Bill, he was his right hand man after all, and the dream demon would always teasingly give his thigh feather light touches and rub it. What better way to entertain yourself than to tease the awkward nerd.

With the others being so busy, Alexander decided to occupant his time with a grand piano he found one day in an abandoned part of the Fear-ymid. No one came down these halls anymore, since the rooms were unused. So there were no people to hear him as he got back into practice. He hadn't played in about a decade, but the feel of the ivory keys beneath his fingers was familiar to him. He just played randomly, he'd have to take a quick trip to his ex-dimension to grab some sheet music he left there by accident. The raven-haired man wouldn't mind if someone was around to hear the melodies he played, he probably wouldn't even pay them much mind.

Whenever he played the piano a memory would always come to him and he'd lose himself in his music. This memory was of him and his long-dead sister, Clementine. Out of the demon's six sisters, she was the youngest. She was beautiful, her raven hair matching his and her eyes a calm green. She was a good ten years older than him, making him the baby of seven. His mother, Nora, loved to baby him, but his father was another story. Orion Eric Strefford was a rather harsh father when Alexander was young, being a lord in Victorian England had that effect on a man.

Clementine, who saw how their father grated on the poor seven-year-old, decided to teach him how to play their pristine black baby grand. Whenever the boy had free time from his studies with his tutors and the lectures from his father, he would find his sister and together they would practice. The memories of the times they spent together always weighed heavily on Alexander's mind, it was another reminder that his family were dead and only their descendants remained. However many great nieces and nephews he has, he couldn't tell you, nor did he wish to ever meet them. He did know however, that not a single one of them knew who he was. That thought brought him a strange comfort.

The random notes he played turned into melancholy melodies.

In his personal library, Dipper sat at one of the various tables, a journal opened and a odd opaque white gem sitting in a case. He had been studying the little gemstone for a while now. A nymph came in and told Bill he needed to have it locked away as it held a strange power that was cursing her family. Instead of doing what the water-nymph said, he gave it to Dipper to study. The brunette hadn't taken the gem out of its glass case yet, but needed to get a closer look at it. It looked as if the milky colors were moving within the stone, but he couldn't tell. He held the stone in his bare hand, probably not the best idea. Within moments his head is pounding and he falls to the floor, dropping the gem which lands under the desk. He passes out there on the floor.

When the man wakes up, he notices nothing out of the ordinary, until he tries to move. He notices that his legs are bending differently and as he tries to stand his mind tells him to get on all fours. He stands clumsily and tries to head to the wall mirror that was a few feet ahead of him. He can tell he's shorter for some reason but pays no mind to it as he tries to see if their his any damage to his head from the fall.

The he got to the mirror he internally screamed.

_I'm a deer!!_

He staggered back and fell on his now fluffy butt, long spindly legs in front of him getting jumbled on each other in the mass of limbs. He couldn't believe it. He was an actual deer. _It was that damn gem, no wonder that nymph wanted to get rid of it._

He stood awkwardly on his new legs and paced through the library, trying to come up with a plan. He couldn't go to Bill with this, the dorito would just laugh at him and tease him about it nonstop. He could try to find Alexander, even if he didn't know the hermaphrodite's demonic powers there was a chance he could change him back. So he walked over the tattered remains of his clothes to the door, thankful it was push door, and headed in the direction of empty halls.

Luckily for Dipper he knew exactly where the ocean-eyed man was. He'd never been in that part of the Fear-ymid but he heard a haunting yet lovely melody and followed the music. He came to a large room that was empty, save for the large piano. The music stopped for a moment as Alexander appeared to start a new song.

It surprised Dipper when he started singing.

If I could begin to be  
Half of what you think of me  
I could do about anything  
I could even learn how to love  
When I see the way you act   
Wondering when I'm coming back  
I could do about anything  
I could even learn how to love  
Like you

I always thought I might be bad   
Now I'm sure that it's true  
'Cause I think you're so good  
And I'm nothing like you

Look at you go  
I just adore you  
I wish that I knew  
What makes you think I'm so special

If I could begin to do  
Something that does right by you  
I would do about anything  
I would even learn how to love

When I see the way you look  
Shaken by how long it took  
I could do anything  
I could even learn how to love like you

Love me like you

It seemed that Alexander was lost to what was happening around him while he sang. Dipper got closer the click of his hooves against the tile seemed not to register with the man. He sat there on the bench unmoving besides his fingers along the keys. Upon closer inspection, the deer noticed how Alexander's eyes were hazy and he had a faraway look on his face. he laid down on the ground next to the bench and listened to the melodies. He eventually fell asleep.

A few hours later Alexander snapped out of his memory-induced stupor and went to leave the room. He tripped over Dipper though and tumbled to the floor while waking up the brunette deer. The raven-haired man stared at the woodland creature from his place on the floor. If Dipper could speak he would've but the change had left him mute. Fortunately as Alexander continued to stare at him, he felt a sense of familiarity at the sight of those chocolate eyes.

"Mason? Is that you?" The confusion was obvious on his face.

Since he was still silent, he nodded his head, ears perked up in anticipation for the other's reaction. They folded back when he screamed and grabbed his face by the cheeks.

"Holy shit! You're so cute! Did Bill do this?" A head shake of no. "Oh. Well you should've just gone to him silly, he could change you back with a snap of his fingers." A frantic shake of a deer head. "He's the only one close who could do it."

Alexander thought it impossible that a deer could be capable of making a face that screamed bullshit, but this was Dipper and he pulled it off.

"I may be a demon, but I don't have much power. Clothes I can change, but not a person's physical form. That's why we're going to Bill now, so he can fix it."

He stood waiting for Dipper to follow him, but the man stayed sitting there on the ground, ears folded back and fluffy ass planted on the floor. Alexander would've just grabbed him, but the rather large antlers atop his head convinced him of otherwise. He crossed his arms and looked at the deer with the same look a mother gives a pouting child.

"Mason Alex Pines. We are going to see Bill whether you like it or not. So, you can either go willingly or I'll carry you the whole way there."

When he still refused to move, Alexander huffed and hefted the rather large animal on his shoulder and steadied him with one arm. He left to the throne room, Dipper slumping onto him in defeat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i chose that cover because that's how i imagine alexander's voice


	18. More Dimensions, More Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek 
> 
> this is all over the place

When the doors to the throne room slammed open, Bill paid it no mind as he sipped on his martini, sitting sideways on his throne while reading an unnamed tome. It wasn't until Alexander gave a loud shout of Bill! He looked over and promptly choked on the fruity drink. He hadn't been watching what was going on in the Fear-ymid all day, so he had no idea that the deer Alexander was carrying was Dipper. He stared at the two in bewilderment.

"Why the fuck is there a deer in my palace of weirdness?"

Alexander put the deer down on the ground and looked up at Bill. The deer, who was now sitting on the ground like a dog, looked down on the ground not meeting Bill's eyes.

"It's not just any deer dear William, it's Mason."

Bill busted out laughing. "That's Pine Tree! Hold on a second I'll be right back." He was gone in a flash of golden light. Not two seconds later he returned with The Beast, Rohan, and Wirt in tow. Rohan took one look at the fluffy Dipper deer and immediately hugged it with her all her might.

"Deerper is so cute and fluffy!" She squealed and looked over to her boyfriends. "Can we keep him?"

Wirt seemed mortified. "He's not an animal Sweetheart."

The Beast seemed amused. "Wirt's right. Besides I'm zsure Cipher would kill you if you stole away his precious Pine Tree."

Alexander looked to the tallest in the room. "I can assure you he's not the only one."

A few more minutes of the four-armed girl hugging and petting Dipper's head ensued. But for Bill the amusement of it wore off and he didn't want her touching the deer anymore. "Alright I think poor Pine Tree's suffered enough." With a snap of his fingers Rohan was teleported into being latched on to The Beast, who didn't seem to mind, and a puff of smoke enveloped Dipper for a few moments. When the smoke dispersed everyone stared at Dipper in disbelief.

Instead of being a deer Dipper was now a cervitaur, half-man half-deer, and a shirtless one at that. It gave a pretty nice view of his freckle-covered chest and arms. He looked down at himself and you could see how his fists clenched and his eyes washed over with a look of anger.

"Really Bill? I thought you were going to change me back."

"I was, I tried. I don't understand why it didn't work."

Dipper stomped down a hoof and scowled. "God damnit. So what? I'm stuck like this forever now? Forever a fucking deer person?" Turns out being part animal makes your emotions a little extreme.

"Woah, calm down Mason. I'm sure we can figure something out." Alexander walked over to the now taller Dipper and gave him a reassuring hug, the cervitaur (yes that's what they're called) couldn't hug back because his arms were trapped, but he would if he could.

The room was in an awkward silence and a thought occurred to Wirt. He was now the only full-on human in the room. Bill got up from his throne and snapped his fingers, without any warning the three of them found themselves in the forests that once surrounded the town of Gravity Falls.

Rohan looked over at Bill with a look of sheer irritation which the dream demon only smirked at. She liked surprises, but not surprise teleportation. "Why the hell are we in the woods, you demented corn chip?" Her words sounded angry, but her tone was playful.

"Well, quad-arms, we're in a forest. The reason Pine Tree's not human yet is because of the gemstone he was messing around with. Now I tried to reverse the effects of the stone, but since he's become a cervitaur now must mean the stone is from a place in the multi-verse where cervitaurs exist."

The Beast seemed highly worried at this relevation. "You know how badly this could end up being in this dimension Cipher. This could scar Mason for life."

"Relax Beasty, we'll just be careful." With that the dream demon started walking through the woods, the rest of the group followed behind.

If Dipper said he was fine, he was lying. The thought of being in the middle of the woods, a forest that was both so familiar yet alien, and of possibly being scarred for life while being a cervitaur, wearing nothing but an over-sized hoodie, grated on his mind. He was glad that the raven-haired man of the group had a hand resting on the spine of his deer-half, it kept him grounded. Alexander didn't even realize that he was even touching his brunette boyfriend, it was just an impulsive behavior brought on by his need to comfort the man in this odd and nerve-wracking circumstance.

By now The Beast, Wirt, and Rohan would've left but they wanted to see

"Do you even know where you're going Bill?" Alexander was seething in anger now, this whole mess was the dream demon's fault and now Dipper's extremely on edge because of it.

"Of course I do Feathers, you might forget but I know lots of things."

Out of nowhere A flash af tan and brown knocked Bill through the bushes and onto the ground. Alexander and Dipper rushed to the scene. Bill was being held onto the ground, straddled between the front legs of another cervitaur holding a spear to the demon's throat.

This new cervitaur was tanned from spending days in the sun, he wore nothing but odd bits of jewelry made of carved bone and small jewels. His brunette hair was down to the bottom of his shoulder blades, the dark brown waves slightly disheveled and knotted. He had a very large set of antlers, they were covered in imperfections and small bits and pieces look like they were missing. He was incredibly strong and yet lean. He had a look in his caramel eyes that could kill, which he hopefully wouldn't do to Bill. His deer half was riddled in small white dots, and on his sides the dots made up a very familiar pattern.

Wirt cleared his throat causing the cervitaur to look up at the small group of people. "Excuse me sir, we really mean no harm. If you could just let our friend there go, we'd really appreciate it." The cervitaur glared at him, then his eyes focused on Dipper.

It was like the two of them were looking in a funhouse mirror, they could've been identical twins if it weren't for the slight differences thats separated them. He also caught Rohan in his gaze, a look of fascination mixed with the determination and anger in his eyes. Living in these woods he had never seen a four-armed humanoid, but there had been stranger things living amongst the trees.

He never got off of Bill as he continued to lock gazes with them. "Who are you?"

Bill who was smirking at spear-point spoke up. "He's you from a different dimension Fluffy. Now get off of me, I'm not the Bill Cipher you're looking for."

Everyone was staring at the blonde now and, after a closer look at his face, the native cervitaur went into a standing position, freeing the dream demon. "You are right, the Bill Cipher I'm looking for is a relentless hunter who'd stop at nothing to expand his collection of creatures. Although you look like him, you neither dress like him or behave like him. But that doesn't mean I trust you."

"You don't have to Fluffy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, there are other Dippers and Bill Ciphers from various dimensions, none of them act or look exactly the same though and that's why this new Dipper is more aggressive and dominant compared to our nerd Dipper


	19. Forest Lady

Apparently before the events with the other Dipper, Bill had no idea where they were going. They were supposed to be going to a wise women of the forest, but Bill had them walking in the wrong direction. Other Dipper (he'll be referred to as Deerper from now on) was kind enough to guide their way. The forest was rather serene, and full of strange creatures, who seemed wary of the three demons and Wirt until they saw Deerper and relaxed. They came to what could only be called a Hobbit hole. It was basically the same as one, anyway, if not a bit bigger.

The Beast, a bit confident that the dorito demon seemed to have everything under control, took his lovers and left at this time.

"Hey Fluff, you sure we can even fit in there?"

"Yes. It's not what it appears, the only reason her home looks like this is because it looks cozy and her kind always have a preference for cozy." Deerper leaned down and knocked on the rounded door. A muffled 'what's the password' came from the other side, it was more of a squawk. "Take back the Falls."

The door opened and expanded to comfortably fit the three of them. Standing on the other side was a bird woman. She was fairly short, her hair a fade from gray-brown to a pale blonde and came to about mid-back. Her face was framed with feathers and attached to her arms were large black wings and her hands were talons. She wore all black and had a blank look to her solid black eyes, but there was a spark of distate in them.

Bill strode in with elegance and gave a deep bow. A smirk on his face as he looked toward the small woman. "I assume you're the wise woman of this forest we-"

"I'm not who you're looking for, I'm just one of her helpers. Follow me."

Now it was Deerper's turn to smirk as Alexander passed by Bill and smacked the backside of his head. "Way to go Bill. Now we look like assholes." The two demons followed closely behind, as the cervitaurs stayed behind a little and Dipper marveled at the old large library they found themselves in. As they walked by, more animal-human hybrids were walking around, most of them looked like women but some had a more masculine air about them.

"So," Deerper whispered, "what exactly is your relationship with your Cipher? You don't seem like enemies like myself and this dimension's Cipher."

Dipper looked to his alternate self and blushed. "We used to be enemies, but now well things are different."

"So I see. And what of that raven-haired gentleman?"

"It's complicated. So, who's this wise women anyway?"

"She's a very old friend of the Pines family, if anyone knew how to help you it would be her."

They came to a large study room, bookshelves and random papers everywhere. A figure stood behind the cherrywood desk facing towards the bookshelf behind it. The bird woman left without a word, leaving the four of them alone with the supposed wise woman.

"Hello Marcus. I see you've brought me some company." She turned around, her glasses framed eyes enlightened in the firelight of the lamps. She was a short, plump young woman, with a rounded face and short oak colored hair that framed her face. Her glazed-over hazel eyes shined with a kindness that would rival even the sweetest of grandmas, she was blind but still seemed to know exactly what and who she was looking at at all times.

She looked towards Deerper and quickly glances at all of them.

Alexander stepped forward and stretched his hand outward, which the shorter woman took from across the desk. "It's a pleasure to meet you miss, I assume you're the wise woman I've heard about."

"That I am." She withdrew her hand and walked out to where you could see all off her. She was like the cervitaurs, but instead of a deer half, it was a sheep half. A very fluffy one covered with wool that matched the color of her hair. She looked like a head librarian with her dark green turtleneck and back-rimmed glasses, but Deerper knew she was the wisest ad oldest being in this forest, quite possibly the world.

"So, what seems to be the problem?"

Bill leaned against the bookshelf with a devilish smirk on his face. "My idiot human boyfriend was messing around with some magical gemstone bullshit and now he's stuck like this." His words were spoken with a soft growl, a tone that Deerper did not like at all. He overshadowed the man as he stood in front of him, eyes darkened with anger. "No one uses such a tone with her."

Bill only smirked when he was lifted by the neck a half foot off the ground. "Sorry Fluffy, didn't mean to insult your little grass-loving girlfriend."

Deerper went in for a punch. "Why you little-"

"Marcus! That's enough. Let him down. I know his type, there may be many Bill Cipher's but there'll all dicks every last one of them." The woman snapped. Deerper let the dream demon down still glaring heavily at him. She pointed towards Dipper and Alexander. "Now you two follow me and I'll see what I can do. Marcus stay here and keep a close eye on this character."

They left, leaving the dorito with the pissed-off cervitaur.


	20. Ass-Flavored Drink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter goes from 0-100 real quick
> 
> sorry, not sorry

The short sheep woman led the two men through a hall, which like all the other rooms in the place was covered in books shelves and filled to the brim in books. They passed by other strange characters, including more bird people, a few that were half snake, and a literal dragon. She opened a heavily locked metal door and, with Alexander's helped, opened it to reveal a laboratory meets ritual chamber.

"What sort of wise woman are you anyway? Not to be rude, but this whole place seems a bit unorthodox." Dipper said as he looked around the room at the bottles of chemicals and archaic symbols written all over the wall. He recognized one symbol from his time researching, it was a symbol that meant wisdom and strength. Other symbols that he recognized all had to do with either nature or human philosophy and behavior.

"An ancient one, I'm far older than any person you'll meet in the falls. I'm not so much wise as I am experienced. As for my home here, I've collected so many books over the centuries that I just had to open it up for the residents of the falls. This room in particular however, is used for situations like yours." She was moving rather quickly around the room, mixing chemicals and herbs into a really old looking coffee mug that read 'Number One Favorite Crazy Lady'.

"I'm sorry miss, but I don't believe we got your name. Simply referring to you as the wise woman just doesn't seem polite." Alexander, as always, trying to be a gentleman.

"Oh, my bad. You know sometimes I forget the simplest things. It's Renee, but I don't care what people call me." She put the mug into Dipper's hand and looked at him expectantly. he took a single sip and almost choked.

"This tastes like ass." He murmured between coughs.

"It's either you drink that or stay a cervitaur forever. Now what's it gonna be?" She looked at him with those blind eyes, and in that moment Dipper wondered why a blind woman would wear glasses unless she could really see and her eyes were just clouded.

He gave a shrug and downed the rest of the slightly sludgy substance. the taste was so bad it made him simultaneously shiver and almost throw up. When no immediate change happened, Dipper was more than pissed.

Renee, knowing first-hand how quickly a pissed off cervitaur could get out of hand, tried to calm the beast-man down.

"Relax. The ass-flavored drink doesn't start working until you leave for your own dimension. Trust me, you'll prefer it this way. If it started working immediately you'd be in immense pain and agony from the physical shifting of your bones and organs. This way the change will happen instantaneously as you travel from this dimension to your home one, so you should be a regular boring human as soon as you get back."

Alexander glared at Renee, the woman acting a bit too nonchalant about the whole searing pain thing. "You make it sound as if you've had experience with this sorta thing."

She simply smirked in his direction. "You're a perceptive little changeling aren't you. Yeah, I've done this before. Luckily because I messed up so horribly with my own human transformation, I was able to fix everything and perfected the process so there'd be no side effects."

"What side effects did you experience?" Dipper looked nervously into the coffee mug.

"Weeell, it clouded my eyes, gave me an extremely long lifespan, and heightened my senses. In fact, I should really thank my mistakes, they are the reason everyone thinks I'm some wise woman anyway."

"So you're a fraud, then. You're just using these people to gain power over them." Alexander looked beyond pissed, Bill might've done some bad things in his 'life' but he wasn't a fraud.

"Woah dude, I'm not by any means a fraud, they simply called me wise and I let them believe what they want. I'm not lying to them, just omitting certain truths. Like I said before I'm experienced, the creatures of the falls wouldn't have survived if I didn't tell them how to trick hunters and how to hide. They'd all be dead." She flailed her arms wildly in gestures as she spoke, her face turning red as she plead her case.

"Yeah, leave the lady alone." Out of nowhere, Bill was standing beside Renee, his hand placed comfortably on her shoulder. She didn't seem surprised that he was there. A few moments later the door opened and there stood Deerper, he looked toward Bill and they both shared a look of understanding and Bill, at the same time, had a glint of guilt in his eye.

"I'm not a fraud. A fraud wouldn't have been able to help them, but I've helped these people in ways not one of you could imagine. I gave up everything for my curiosity, like your Grunkle Ford kid, but unlike him I didn't get any of it back. He got back his family, if only for a short time, while mine are dead in their graves and I'm too scared to go back to that god forsaken dimension and visit them." Tears fell from her eyes. "So, go ahead and treat me like a criminal if you want, but for once in my goddamn life, I'm actually doing people some good. If helping people's a crime, then I guess you could call me a criminal." She stomped out of the room. Deerper moved aside to let her go.

Everyone stared blankly at the spot she once stood, except for Bill, whose face showed indifference but his eye glinted with more guilt. The silence continued for a while, the flickering of candles causing an eerie light to fall onto the room.


	21. Completely Unnecessary Backstory For an OC

People never really had noticed her, when Renee was young and human. She stayed inside most days, in the small cabin she lived in with her family, mostly because her mother was terrified at how sick Renee always was and thought she would catch her death if she went outside too much. But back then, people didn't know any better. Her family was poor and rightfully so, with seven kids to feed, including her, and only her father and eldest brother working. She spent most days reading anything and everything. She started with the few books the local school teacher had given her, since she couldn't attend and go to the one-room building. Every year after that, upon request, her father would put aside money and get her books on medicine and medicinal practices. After years and years of studies, she had managed to figure out why she was so sickly and managed to fix it. By now, most of her siblings had left home and it was only herself, her only sister, and her parents.

She left home finally and traveled the world, noticing the stranger parts of the beautiful wilderness. She settled down in a place that no human ever lived and was surrounded by mysterious creatures. Being the only resident she called in the falls, for the many beautiful waterfalls in the area. Renee stayed there and lived off the land, going to towns that were a few days travel for things the land couldn't provide, like clothes and books.

Her love of literature never left, and she had amassed the largest library ever for someone in their twenties. Then came that fateful night.

She was exploring the woods around her small home, and, near the bank of the river, came across a peculiar gem hidden among the rocks. The same gem Dipper had that turned him into a deer. Unlike Dipper however, it turned her into a sheep, she had dropped the gem into the river. How it got to the other dimension, she never knew. Even as a sheep she somehow managed to make the first draft of that 'potion'. Which went horribly wrong. The first thing that happened was her eyes clouding over, after the immense pain of course, she could still see even, but her eyes looked blind. The next thing was her senses, which sharpened. A few days after being fully human, was when the effects wore off, and she was, again painfully, transformed into an ovisitaur (half person half sheep). Not wanting to deal with the pain, she stayed as she was. Plus, she was now as strange as the other residents of the falls.

Decades had passed and she hadn't aged a day, giving insight to the final and probably most confusing symptom of that damn drink, she was never going to age, or even die from old age. With this realization, she pursued knowledge even mores than anything. Throughout the centuries it was her peculiar looks and love of knowledge that started her title as Wise Woman.

When more humans came into the area to hunt for the valuable creatures, she had helped them hide and fight back. The only hunter that her advice didn't work for, was her dimension's Bill Cipher. He was relentless at getting whatever prey he wanted.

And at the moment, that prey was Marcus "Dipper" Pines.

But back to the present, Renee was currently in one of her sitting rooms, headache affecting her to the maximum. She knew she was a good person, but had forgotten how humans were more deceitful and careful with their emotions. They didn't wear them on their sleeves like the people she worked so hard to protect. As far as she was concerned, the creatures of the falls were all her children and she would do anything to protect them.

While distracted by the immense pounding in her skull, Deerper walked in and saw the poor woman clutching her head, face screwed up in pain. Kneeling to get on the same level as the sheep woman, he hugged her tightly. He had always looked up to her as his mentor, she was not only the smartest woman he ever met, but the sweetest, seeing her in pain and having to deal with that bullshit was breaking his heart.

He felt her wrap her noodly arms around his torso and heard the soft sobs.

"I-I'm a g-good person, right Mar-Marcus?" Renee's voice was choking up at nearly every word.

"Nearly every person in the falls would either be dead or never born if you a bad one."

"Then why is it when I tried to help those folks, they called me fraud and got angry with me?" She looked up into his face, cloudy eyes red and tear streaks down her cheeks.

"They're mostly humans, who really knows. But the important thing is that they're wrong. Wisdom stems from experience, knowledge, and good judgement, and I know for a fact you have all three." Deerper gave her a comforting smile which she returned. "Do you want me to tell them to leave?"

"Hell yes."

"There's the crazy lady I'm used to seeing." Deerper let her go and walked out, he would do anything for Renee. She was like family. Ever since he was but a fawn, she was there, having intellectual conversations with Ford, joking around with Stan and Mabel, and even teaching him everything she knew. He practically lived in the Tardis-like home of hers, even though she was the real only resident. Walking through the halls now, he could almost see his own memories of the place everywhere he looked. Memories of trying to steal some books, of watching her mix up medicines, and even learning to defend himself in her training room.

He reached the large metal door, and heard voices on the other side. They must;ve shouting pretty loud to be heard through the walls and metal. He stayed for a moment and caught the end of a sentence. "-MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!" He gave a sigh and opened the metal door, revealing a furious Bill, an equally furious Alexander, and a terrified and confused him, well alternate him.


	22. Too Much Stuff Not Enough Space

Deerper cleared his throat, catching the attention of the other three. He held the door opened wide and muttered a quiet but firm 'Get Out'. There was no anger in his tone, in fact there was no emotion at all. He never looked at the three as they filed out of the room, and even after closing the door, walked the other direction heading back to the small sitting room.

The three of them, walking alongside each other with Dipper in the middle, were silent as they traversed the halls of the large underground home. When they came to the front entrance the short bird woman was still there, reading what looked to be a manual for a version of Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons. She never looked up so the three just left, the door shrinking back to Hobbit hole size. They were back home a moment later.

Dipper was on his ass, hugging his now human legs. "Thank god, now I don't have to be furry." Then the realization came that he was in nothing but an oversized-hoodie and, with how he was sitting, he was showing his naked ass to the other two. He was blushing like crazy, trying desperately to cover his exposed flesh. Bill was appreciative for the view, while Alexander looked away, wanting to help preserve the young man's dignity as much as possible.

"Um, I'm just gonna go shower and change." Red-faced and still tugging on the hoodie, the brunette left the room, racing through the halls to get to his room before anyone else saw his naked ass. Unfortunately, the door to Gideon and Thomas' room was opened and Thomas, who was folding laundry on the floor, got an eyeful, which he immediately pushed back into his mind vault. Dipper didn't notice this in his panic.

Back in the throne room, Bill and Alexander were glaring at each other.

"You know Feathers, if that woman's so bad, then I guess I'm far worse, and yet you don't rag on me for what I've done."

"That's different." Alexander muttered, looking away.

It was Bill's shouting that caused him to turn his head back. "Oh, is it different because you know me and that woman's a complete stranger. Compared to what I've done, she's a saint. I torture people for shits and giggles, while she was just trying to help people the only way she knew how. I don't understand how you can act like she's a bad guy and not bat an eyelash at the shit I do."

Alexander knew he had to be wary, when Bill's visible eye turned blood red he was absolutely, without a doubt furious. He gave a breathy sigh. "You're right Bill. I have no right to assume such things, plus she, Renee I think her name was, was just trying to help Mason." A short pause. "Now I feel like a dick."

Bill, whose anger had dissipated slightly, just looked at the shorter man, and upon seeing the guilt and regret in his ocean eyes, walked in front of him and lifted his head from staring intently at the floor with a hand an his chin. The blonde looked into his long-time friend's eyes and without a word or second thought, leaned in and kissed him. The caught-off-guard man took a half-second before kissing back and wrapping his arms around the taller man.

If they weren't lost in their own little world, they would've heard the little fangirl squeak that mabel let out, seeing the kiss from her spot hiding in a doorway. She had gotten there right after Dipper left. She should revise the plan a little, but everything seemed to be working itself out alright and she might not even need the plan anymore. She left after they broke away, as to not be caught by the demons and quite possibly turned into a goat or a cow. The goat would be worst considering she might eat through her sweater collection.

Dipper, now showered and in regular sweats, proceeded to walk through the halls, trying to get back to the throne room, hoping to get there before the two angry demons destroyed each other. He was not prepared for the sight of Bill and Alexander hugging and not trying to rip each other's limbs off. The sight would've been laughable, if Dipper wasn't so shocked, Bill towered over Alexander causing the shorter man to have his face shoved in Bill's collar bone.

"What happened while I was gone?" The black-haired man turned his head to address the brunette.

"Nothing much, why don't you try to squeeze in here Mason?"

And the young man did, sandwiching himself between the two of them. Everything was alright, for now.

A few hours later and Bill was back at work and the other two were lounging on a couch, again having a movie marathon. Alexander was laying his back and Dipper, on his stomach, was lounging on the smaller boy's chest. Something nagged on Dipper's mind ever since the event with the piano, and he was too curious to not ask about his confusion.

"Hey Alexander. What was that song you were singing earlier?" He felt the shorter man tense up underneath him.

"You heard that?" Dipper nodded. "Damn. It was just a stream of consciousness thing, don't worry about it."

"It sounded quite emotional, is everything ok?" Alexander grabbed the remote and paused the movie, he would've laughed at the funny expression on Matt Damon's face but things were getting real close to serious territory. "Mason, please, just forget about it."

He unpaused the movie, and turned his focus to the screen. Dipper could see the hurt and longing in the shorter man's eyes and wouldn't stand for it. He just had to know what was bothering him, and then, and only then, could he help him with it.

So, he got off of the raven-haired man and physically unplugged the tv. He heard a small 'hey' come from behind him, he could tell without looking that Alexander was about to protest, but the smaller man shut his mouth when Dipper turned, arms crossed, and a stern look on his face that didn't belong on the often nervous young man.

"You're not going to let this go, until I tell you, are you?" Dipper gave a short shake of his head.

"No I'm not."

A quiet sigh. "Fine. You've cornered me. It was about my sister."


	23. The Long-Awaited Backstory of My Favorite Smol Son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for being on hiatus for so long, but in all honesty I forgot about this fic while I was worrying about graduating high school and it sorta fell into the void of my head. 
> 
> But I'm glad to be back writing trash and just more trash.
> 
> *jumps back into the dumpster that is this fic*  
> Ah home how I've missed you.

A few moments later and Dipper was back on the couch, sitting next to his now slightly gloomy boyfriend. The shorter man had to prepare himself for the long shpiel of words that would be soon coming out his mouth. 

 

"Well Mason, I think it's about time I told you about my past, after all I think you of all people deserve to know." Dipper steeled himself, getting comfortable for the long tale he was going to hear.

 

Alexander started with his life in England, living with his family. Of his mother hen of a mother and his father who disapproved of much of his life. Of all six of his sisters and how they would have fun dressing him up and treating him as if he was just another one of the girls. Of his beloved sister, Clementine, who taught him to play piano. He told him of his lapse in memory that lasted a few years and how after that he seemed to never get any older. About fifty years after that he had left for America to simultaneously escape the pain of watching his family grow old and die and having the chance to start over and live his life the way he wanted to. 

 

"And soon after that I met Bill. He seemed just like anyone else the day he walked into the boutique I had owned. He actually looks the same now as he did back then. At the time, I was so confused about my new supposed immortality, I was so grateful that Bill convinced me about his demonic nature. He became my mentor, teaching me how to control and master my new powers. It was through that that we became friends and he showed me that little pocket dimension I used to rule over."

 

Alexander stopped looking at the floor and looked Dipper right in the eyes. 

 

"Even though I miss my family and I sometimes feel lonely and get sad about their deaths, I don't regret becoming a demon one bit, because now I have you Dipper." He grabbed the taller boy's hands. "And I wouldn't change it for the world." 

 

Dipper was left speechless, how the hell was he supposed to respond to something like that. So many emotions ran through him that he was stunned and after a few moments he enveloped the other in a tight hug. They sat like that for a while, until Dipper's stomach, rather loudly, growled, breaking the comfortable silence. It was so sudden and unexpected that it caused both men to full-on belly laugh.

 

"Guess we need to go and get some food, huh?" Alexander said teasingly. 

 

Dipper chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so." 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little short just so I could get into the swing of things again


End file.
